Yesterday was my wedding anniversary. I spent the day with my wife and later with family. Days like that often go past with a minimum of fuss but as a person who enjoys reflection, I had many thoughts on my mind as the day went on. I have chosen to share my life with someone I trust (can trust) not just with the practical things in life but with my feelings and aspirations too. Being vulnerable enough to allow someone to do that is difficult and even though there are always parts of me that are purely for me, I give the rest to her willingly.
At 56, I am the happiest I have ever been because life with her is simple. Simple in the fact that we are on the same page on virtually everything in life to the extent that we can take that almost for granted when thinking about the future. This only comes when you are prepared as a couple to work hard every day on the relationship, you put your relationship first and you see boundaries as equating to love and not conflict. On the other hand, we have worked hard on conflict management over the years to the degree that we have a system to deal with it, space to express what we feel and the confidence in us to agree to disagree without being defensive. It really is a great situation to be in and I truly wouldn’t swap her for anyone in the world.
It wasn’t always so rosy. Like all couples, we had our issues in the way we interacted with each other. We come from different backgrounds and sometimes the expectations (and indeed pain and experience) from that had an effect. However, we realised that we had to work through and the rewards are immense. I have what I consider the ideal relationship for me with the right person at the right time. How do I know that? Because being with her enhances my life rather than causing complication. Simple.
I would never hold my relationship up as an ideal for others but I advocate often general concepts that have worked for us.. We are all individuals and what we can or willing to do is different in every case.
I do truly hope that that couples can find also what we have and say as I do. God Blessed The Broken Road….that led me to you.