Tag: Work

Perfection Doesn’t Exist But We Still Try Hard To Prove That Theory Wrong.

Samuel McChord Crothers once wrote ” try as hard as we may for perfection, the net result of our labors is an amazing variety of imperfectness. We are surprised at our own versatility in being able to fail in so many different ways.” Do you feel like what you accomplish is never quite good enough? Do you often put things…

Codependency: One Thought From Relapse

When you recognise and become aware that you are indeed a codependent, the hard work really starts. Even codependents who have a good handle on their triggers and situations that could cause a relapse have to fight hard to keep them in check. As one of my recovering patients said quite rightly “You are only…

Silent Treatment: A Nemesis For Codependency And Generally Indefensible

Yesterday, I read an article by a “life coach” who said that silent treatment was justified mostly because your partner “probably deserved it”. I read on hoping that the article would clarify this by looking at “time-outs” and drawing a clear distinction or that she might be referring to “no-contact”, a clear strategy when dealing…

The Health Of Your Relationship Can Be Judged By The Way You Fight

“Lets not forget it’s you and me vs. problem. Not you vs. me” -Unknown If you have been in a relationship that has lasted longer than a few months, you will know that conflict and argument are going to be a part of it. It is just that way. Two separate individuals with different viewpoints…

Inner Child Therapy: Countering the Inner Critical Voice

When I practice Inner Child Therapy with clients, we invariably meet the Inner Critic at some stage. This can often be identified because of the “should” statements that are associated with its advice. When I look at my client base, I notice that I have a range of different personalities, issues and outlooks on life…

Online Therapy for Codependency: A Testimonial

Ever since I started doing therapy online in 2011, I have dealt with many different disorders. Early on, it was a transitional phase moving from office to online but it quickly moved on. In my office based practice, I dealt with a lot of codependent clients and this has increasingly been the case since 2011.…

Making Sure Depression Does Not Define You

I once read a very interesting description of depression. It went something like: “I am depression. I am cold like the Arctic mist, I dampen your spirits and your soul. I fill your mind with gloom. When I appear, you are but a withered leaf under wet snow. But I can do much more. I can…

The Drama Triangle: A Key Element Of Codependent Control.

I have often documented here how much control exists in codependent thinking. In contrast to their nemesis (someone with narcissist tendencies), codependents are generally nice people who are willing to do most anything for the object of their codependency (usually a partner, sometimes a parent or employer and often all three). However, that ‘most anything’…

Increase Your Self-Esteem in 10 Days. Day 7: The Power Of Thought

Buddha said “We are what we think” and never was a truer word spoken than when this is applied to our view of ourselves. Inside all of us is a constant stream of emotional traffic and this is normal and we interpret these thoughts by labelling them. Sometimes, this labeling is innocent and factual but…

Increase Your Self-Esteem in 10 Days. Day 6; The Should’s

I am offering you the chance to change. Follow a series of posts and increase your self-worth and esteem. Low self-esteem is like a weight around your neck and stops you moving forward but it is not your story. It is the result of believing false stories and having a “I am bad” mental filter.…