Tag: toxic relationships

In Defence Of The “Marriage Reboot”

When it comes to computers, it has always amazed me that the majority of issues can be solved by switching the machine off and restarting it. It is one of the mysteries of our time and one that I personally find the most effective default method of fixing anything of a technological nature. The same…

Parental Alienation: A Call For Action

In an ideal world, there would be no divorce or separation and children would grow up in healthy, happy homes with two loving parents who loved each other and them. Reality tells us that while this sometimes happens, many times it doesn’t and marriages and relationships fail. Children placed in these situations should not only…

Life After Narcissism: Further Toxic Or Nourishing? It Is Your Choice!

What next when your worst nightmare is over? Many codependents who manage to extract themselves from toxic or narcissistic relationships are often left with this question. Initially, the big danger is that they end up in another toxic relationship similar to the last. This is the only type of relationship they know and they gravitate…

Parental Alienation: What It Is And How Narcissists Use It To Destroy Their Ex-Partner and Children

When divorce and separation occurs and children are involved, it is generally traumatic for all concerned. One aspect of this is that two people who used to be in a relationship have to co-parent as ex-partners.  Awkward and uncomfortable as this might be, some find a way for it to work because they put the…

Narcissism: Why Would You Let Anyone Treat You Like That?

As a therapist and a person who deals in reality and common sense in my own life, it is hard to see some of the decisions that other people make in the name of love and devotion. What happens to the human brain that cannot see the plainly obvious in front of them? Where intelligent,…

Codependents: It’s Ok Not To Forgive Your Toxic Parents

The headline is perhaps a confusing one to anyone who has experienced trauma and abuse in their life. The helping professions are full of practitioners who deal in the art of forgiveness.  Religious, psychological and philosophical teachings all tell us that forgiveness is essential. “You have to forgive to be able to move on”, they…

The Cost Of Appeasing The Gods That Are Our Toxic Parents

In our childhood, we have a huge problem. We idolise those who brought us into the world unconditionally. They are Gods to us and our source of supply for everything we need and wish. As children start to develop, they come to realise that the Gods who could do no wrong are just as flawed…

Should You Bother Trying To Set Boundaries With A Narcissist?

I talk a lot about boundaries. I believe they are the foundation of a healthy relationship. Setting boundaries means being emotionally honest, assertive and it means protect your emotional and physical space. Boundaries maintained and with appropriate consequences teach people in a healthy way how you want to be treated. In therapy, especially with codependents,…

The Narcissist Parent And His Chosen Child

Being in a relationship with a narcissist “type” can be hell. However, what if the narcissist is your parent and has cloned you to be a living “perfect” version of him or her? A child chosen to heal the parent’s own broken past. It happens more than we might imagine. For ease, I have highlighted…

Codependents And Infidelity: It Doesn’t Always Pan Out How You Might Expect

One confession that I make with some trepidation is that I was an avid watcher of the reality tv show “Cheaters”, in the 90’s. Joey Greco who was the host of the show built the cases up well and it made for interesting viewing. If you could put aside the drama and the firm suspicion…