Tag: THERAPY

Punishment is not Discipline (Part 2) Considerations

When my daughter who is now 30 started crawling, we attended as a couple some parenting classes. This was supplemented by visits from the seminar leader to consolidate the theory in practice. We thought at the time..why not? We are young, this is our first child and we thought we could surely learn something. As…

Punishment is not Discipline (Part 1)

The first weeks of a baby’s life can be gruelling and tiring for the new parents. Some parents can be completely overwhelmed with this new life that is suddenly thrust upon them. During these early phases, mistakes can be made that can have an effect in the years to come.  Experts often cite the first…

Staying With Your Partner After Infidelity?

Once infidelity occurs in a relationship, it breaks the foundation of trust that might have been the one of the main reasons the relationship maintained itself. Let’s face it, many marriages will not survive infidelity and there will be an immediate or gradual separation. However, a few decide to work on it and in that…

Take Your Internal Family To A Safe Place

In my last post, I talked about the value of meeting a “younger self” in visualisation. I said and believe that this is an emotional but worthwhile step in trying to come to terms with childhood trauma, lack of connection or other dysfunctional aspects of a parent-child relationship. It brings a good amount of awareness,…

Meeting Your Younger Self Tells You All You Need To Know

While doing inner child work with clients, I often run them through a guided visualisation where they meet and greet a younger version of themselves. It is mostly an incredibly emotional experience but also gleans insight into how really connected they are with their past and subsequently, the emotions attached to it. At the end…

Soothing Our “Child Part” Will Keep The Narcissist At Bay

I have worked with codependents for many years and have witnessed first-hand the devastation that occurs when a cruel, self-centred individual breezes in and out of their life. Life is not the same for a while and self-confidence and a belief in ability to live life in a functional way is replaced by low self-esteem,…

Conditioning can be changed but it takes hard work and awareness.

A client who has been coming to therapy for quite some time, recently had a revelation where she finally realised that her family had conditioned her as a child to believe that she needed to behave in a certain way. Intellectually, she always knew this but emotionally she could not accept it. She had always…

Having Trouble With Conflict Management And Resolution; Set Rules

Many good relationships can be tarnished by conflict. Conflict is truly inevitable when two people come together and the ability to manage it and find solutions will go a long way to predicting how long they might stay together. In fact, many observers will suggest that it is probably the most important aspect of a…

Why Codependents Often Think Narcissist Abuse Is Because Of Them

Sometimes the hardest task for a therapist is to convince a codependent that they have actually been abused by their narcissist (ex) partner. Look at some of the statements I have heard: “If I had not been so needy, maybe it would have worked” “It must have been me. All other relationships I had were…

Nostalgia And Connecting With My Inner Self

I have recently been very nostalgic about the Seventies. Not with any great fondness but it was a very significant time for me. In this decade, I went from being 8 to 18 and my near adult self was formed. Growing up in the UK at this time was not easy. The political ┬ásituation was…