I have recently been very nostalgic about the Seventies. Not with any great fondness but it was a very significant time for me. In this decade, I went from being 8 to 18 and my near adult self was formed. Growing up in the UK at this time was not easy. The political situation was…
When I give a free initial consultation to a new client and it concerns codependency, I often get asked a very relevant question. That is…“why do you feel you understand me as a possible codependent?” According to many referrals that I get, that level of understanding amongst therapists is quite low on a deeper level.…
One of my clients said to me the other day that she had seen many therapists but no-one like me. While I was still trying to work out whether this was a compliment or not, she clarified this by saying that she has had more contact with me in three months than with others in…
Life is such that we never get all that we want and this is probably just as well. When we taste some amount of success, we are usually rightly elated for a short time. However, part of this is that we have also to get used to loss when things go against us. Whether it…
Today we meet S who is married to a functioning alcoholic. He has been that way since they met and despite her protests, has never looked to change or to respect her wishes. In therapy, she constantly complains about him and how he treats her but will enable him and his issues by avoiding talking…
In Day 5, I highlight J who found out he was codependent after starting therapy. J is a successful business man who by his own admission “can’t live alone”. He also is often attracted to emotionally distant, sometimes abusive types who take advantage of his good nature. He tries “to fix them” and is often…
Welcome to the second day of the Codependent Stories. M is a fictional character based on my client’s experiences. All events depicted here actually happened in someone’s life (or a group of people) in the last week. Permission was sought to use life events but no names have been revealed…… I have been offering online therapy for…
There are many theories, models and assumptions around that pontificate on what keeps two people together over the long-term. You can find books and posts that cover all aspects of this subject and more. Many of them offer up good advice on keeping it fresh or avoiding the pitfalls of a stale relationship. Advice badly…
It has been a busy week in my online therapy practice and a few insights have been gained. As always when I right these types of post, no personal or specific details will be given. A New Podcast Is Coming. Two weeks ago, we produced the first podcast of a new season. It covered how…
Conflict in a relationship is inevitable. In itself, conflict is not a problem; how it is handled, however, can bring people together or tear them apart. Poor communication skills, disagreements and misunderstandings can be a source of anger and distance, or a springboard to a stronger relationship and happier future. Next time you are dealing…