Tag: Success

Difficult Times? It Is All A State Of Mind

We all have times when everything gets too much. There are many issues to face, things to do, plan and action to be taken. Sometimes, we feel overwhelmed, paralysed and wonder how we will get through. Life as it is, does seem to throw the proverbial “spanner in the works” sometimes and we often feel…

The Ideal Self: Realistic Or A Myth?

Anyone who practices therapy or has an interest in it will have probably been influenced by Carl Rogers. He developed person-centered therapy and was one of the key founders of humanistic psychology.  His knowledge and influence is still present today in many therapeutic approaches and his books are still widely read. He is certainly one…

Be Kind To Your Internal Family And Gain Access To The Self

There are a range of books that tell us how to deal with our Internal family of thinking parts. Most centre on mantras and progressively aggressive language to deal with them. While this can be useful, we have to remember that by isolating the parts and pushing them away, we are maybe losing an ideal…

Building up to “Aha” Moments In Therapy

As a therapist, I am always happy when one of my clients has a “aha” moment. This is that very moment when everything comes together and you just know, it is going to initiate some form of positive change in the client’s disposition. I may have realised it was going to happen some time before…

Codependency: Stop The Rot By Connecting With Your Child

If you are a codependent and have children of your own, then there is a better than average chance that the codependent tendencies you have, will be passed down through a dysfunctional parenting style. One that has too many boundaries or not enough. Codependency is generational and many clients I work with have described one…

As A Codependent, Boundaries Are Essential And Need To Be Maintained

I deal with many co-dependent people on a daily basis and one factor that is extremely common is the inability to set healthy boundaries. Codependent people experience emotional abuse in relationships because they are basically not able to form firm boundaries and allow others to take down those that they have. They are not usually…

When Codependents Get Nasty And Resistant To Therapy

It is wrong to assume that if codependency is identified as an issue, the person concerned is codependent with everyone in his or her life. There is usually only one or a number of people (or thing, e.g work, substances) but the typical behaviour associated with codependents does not necessarily get projected on everybody. The…

A Gift From Your Parents: The Inner Critic

Life sometimes tells us that we are not deserving. We go through long periods of believing that there is something inherently wrong with us. One of the major factors in this process is the formation of an inner critic which is a major underlying cause of depression and low self-esteem.  The inner critic is often…

Face It! Increasing Self Esteem Is A Choice And Can Be Done Like This!

Consider this famous quote below: “The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.…

Defensive Pessimism And How It Can Help You Move Forward

Can you imagine a therapist telling a patient to think negatively ? To concentrate on the less positive aspects of the issues they are having ? Sounds crazy and not too healthy but there are times when this kind of thinking can certainly be justified. Name any self-help book found on the shelves of any…