Transition and change are a part of life and the human experience, come in many forms and can be sudden or gradually evolving, stressful, pleasurable, or a mixture of both! We change our relationships, jobs, where we live, sometimes our values and beliefs, our goals in life; as well as changes in health. With transition…
The period following a formal separation involves many life changes and decisions – and all of them have an impact on younger and older children. It is essential for the child’s security that a basis of trust and honesty is built-up between the parents. Even if said trust is difficult and dishonesty has played a…
We all have a past. When two people come together and try to form a relationship, the experiences gained by both play a role. How much of a role depends greatly on the people concerned and the experiences they gained. If trust issues are present or have been brought into the relationship, the past suddenly…
It is of very little consequence how good you feel your relationship is, there is a dynamic that defines the interaction and what you do. It doesn’t matter if it is a friendship, work or a romantic relationship, we like to control things the best we can. This is what humans do. Codependency in relationships…
We all see the world in a specific way. Call it what you will…..paradigm …window on the world…frame of reference, it is all the same. It dictates to a large degree how we think, feel and behave in any given situation. It is our conditioning that we bring from childhood with all the positive and…
Being in a relationship with a narcissist “type” can be hell. However, what if the narcissist is your parent and has cloned you to be a living “perfect” version of him or her? A child chosen to heal the parent’s own broken past. It happens more than we might imagine. For ease, I have highlighted…
There are many theories, models and assumptions around that pontificate on what keeps two people together over the long-term. You can find books and posts that cover all aspects of this subject and more. Many of them offer up good advice on keeping it fresh or avoiding the pitfalls of a stale relationship. Advice badly…
Many people who come into therapy for the first time might find it difficult to imagine what to expect. There are many stereotypical images to draw on in the media and TV of the traditional shrink type character but is this the reality these days? Much of the interaction between client and therapist is regulated…
As a therapist, I do a lot of couples therapy. That means I deal frequently with warring, dysfunctional relationships in most cases. Most people enter couples therapy as a last resort to save their marriage or relationship. Some expect me to tell them what to do. Others are surprised when I tell them it is…
The masses of literature available on the Codependency-Narcissism dance will tell you there are enough of both in this world to make it a big issue. There are many relationships I come across where all logic has apparently been thrown to one side and it is very difficult to understand sometimes why things happen the…