Samuel McChord Crothers once wrote ” try as hard as we may for perfection, the net result of our labors is an amazing variety of imperfectness. We are surprised at our own versatility in being able to fail in so many different ways.” Do you feel like what you accomplish is never quite good enough? Do you often put things…
Ever since I started doing therapy online in 2011, I have dealt with many different disorders. Early on, it was a transitional phase moving from office to online but it quickly moved on. In my office based practice, I dealt with a lot of codependent clients and this has increasingly been the case since 2011.…
I have often documented here how much control exists in codependent thinking. In contrast to their nemesis (someone with narcissist tendencies), codependents are generally nice people who are willing to do most anything for the object of their codependency (usually a partner, sometimes a parent or employer and often all three). However, that ‘most anything’…
It always amazes me how talented and intelligent people spend a lot of their time trying to convince themselves that they are the opposite. This is not to mention the amount of people who obsess about body issues and how they think they look and other people perceive them. In a process called confirmatory bias,…
“The red flags are usually there, you just have to keep your eyes open wider than your heart.” ― April Mae Monterrosa In my daily work with codependents, I hear a lot about so-called “red-flags”. Usually this comes when clients are describing the early stages of a relationship they were or are in. If they are describing…
In an ideal world, there would be no divorce or separation and children would grow up in healthy, happy homes with two loving parents who loved each other and them. Reality tells us that while this sometimes happens, many times it doesn’t and marriages and relationships fail. Children placed in these situations should not only…
A new survey has suggested that women especially are happier being single, post-divorce and many of them suggest that the men in their lives “had to try harder”. Just what this means was not defined but we all know people in marriages and relationships that have become stale and routine. I would suggest this is…
We live in a world where time is at a premium. We never have enough of it and we are always trying to save it, stick to it and deal with the consequences. There are many time management systems that can help anyone who needs their time organising to do just that but it is…
The headline is perhaps a confusing one to anyone who has experienced trauma and abuse in their life. The helping professions are full of practitioners who deal in the art of forgiveness. Religious, psychological and philosophical teachings all tell us that forgiveness is essential. “You have to forgive to be able to move on”, they…
It has been said that a large part of the global population is codependent on something or somebody. That something could be work, substances, alcohol. That somebody could be a partner, parent or boss. Yes, there are many ways to be codependent and many are codependent towards more than one “object” leading to a fairly…
