Tag: SELF-HELP

Narcissism: How Devaluing Destroys Their Codependent Victims

If you had the chance to study the way a narcissist behaves in a relationship, you might recognise a distinct pattern. A three stage whirlwind of a relationship that will leave a victim emotionally, physically and maybe also financially destroyed. The first stage, adulation, I dealt with in my last post. The second phase begins…

Codependency: Breaking The Fantasy Of The Adulation Stage

The power a narcissist has over his victim is all encompassing in the adulation stage and the “hooks” created can make even the most intelligent, rational person doubt their own sanity. It is the kind of brainwashing power that when transported onto a larger stage powers dictatorships, sects and ideologies like the Nazi party and…

Codependency: Why No Contact After Narcissist Abuse Is Essential But It’s Not As Simple As It Sounds

It is common advice when recovering from narcissist abuse to go “no-contact” or more simply put, cut the person completely out of your life and block any possibility they have to get back in touch. There are many websites proclaiming “no-contact” as the main weapon against the temptation to get back with an abusive ex.…

A New Year. New Codependency Issues

I read an article recently about happiness written by a journalist who works for the Times in London. He was commenting about a book he was reading, given to him at Christmas, about how to find happiness in 2019. The title doesn’t really matter, as there are many such books on the market and as…

Stop The Rage In Your Relationship

It is a fact to be taken for granted that couples argue and conflict will be a feature in their relationship. Conflict in itself is not bad and in fact it can improve a relationship if the couple concerned can learn from it. Arguing constructively is the ideal method to use conflict to better a…

Top Post Of 2018: Reparenting Your Inner Child

We know how an inner critic is formed from the defence mechanisms used by the wounded, criticised child and how these can be taken forward into adulthood. Part of the process of dealing with the inner critic and the chaos it causes is to re-parent our inner child, showing it that it no-longer needs those mechanisms…

In 2019, The Choices You Consciously Make Will Be The Difference

I recently had a deep and rather philosophical conversation with a client concerning how much we can truly exercise free will in our lives. Him, going through a difficult period in his life, preferred to believe that we have limited free will and most things that happen to us were predetermined in some shape or…

In Defence Of The “Marriage Reboot”

When it comes to computers, it has always amazed me that the majority of issues can be solved by switching the machine off and restarting it. It is one of the mysteries of our time and one that I personally find the most effective default method of fixing anything of a technological nature. The same…

The Health Of Your Relationship Can Be Judged By The Way You Fight

“Lets not forget it’s you and me vs. problem. Not you vs. me” -Unknown If you have been in a relationship that has lasted longer than a few months, you will know that conflict and argument are going to be a part of it. It is just that way. Two separate individuals with different viewpoints…