Codependency is not a disease and should not be treated like one. When managed care systems finally recognise it as a disorder, there will surely be a push to apply a medical model to recovery, where such systems are only willing to pay for a few sessions supplemented by medication. It is my firm opinion…
Codependents love to give. It is what they do, continually. As I have mentioned in previous posts, this giving comes with an element of return… giving for codependents means having control and they try to keep that status quo. However, despite these attempts, it sometimes goes wrong and a decision needs to be made… a…
Over the weekend, I witnessed a physical assault on a young child. You might not be surprised to know that he was with his parents at the time. I was in a store with my wife and a couple who had previously allowed their young boy to run around unattended, suddenly sprung into action when…
Can you imagine what it is like for a child who is trying to work out how the world works, being dragged into the adult world before they are ready? In this scenario, this is being done to them by the very people who should be teaching them healthily what it means to be a…
There is much hate in our world. It is seen everywhere, on the street, in the media and in our towns and cities. However, in my experience, some of the most intense hate I often see is the hate that people often turn inward towards themselves. It is the most intense hate one could imagine…
Narcissists always get a bad press and probably rightly so. (At this point, we should note that we should only use the term narcissist when someone has been officially diagnosed with NPD. Also, there are degrees of narcissism). The common belief is that they are void of compassion and empathy and are not capable of…
So, you have done the hard part. The narcissist is thankfully gone. It matters little whether discard happened or the courage was finally found to get rid of them, the important thing is that they are gone. So what next? How do you move on from being emotionally, physical and probably financially drained and abused?…
Many good relationships can be tarnished by conflict. Conflict is truly inevitable when two people come together and the ability to manage it and find solutions will go a long way to predicting how long they might stay together. In fact, many observers will suggest that it is probably the most important aspect of a…
I have recently been very nostalgic about the Seventies. Not with any great fondness but it was a very significant time for me. In this decade, I went from being 8 to 18 and my near adult self was formed. Growing up in the UK at this time was not easy. The political situation was…
When I give a free initial consultation to a new client and it concerns codependency, I often get asked a very relevant question. That is…“why do you feel you understand me as a possible codependent?” According to many referrals that I get, that level of understanding amongst therapists is quite low on a deeper level.…