Tag: research

Codependency: How To Give Up Control And Stop Rescuing Everyone

Codependency is a lot about control and controlling others. I have documented various methods frequently on this blog and how they manifest themselves into the typical dysfunctional behaviour associated with codependency. Codependents need control to feel secure and are loath to give this power away. One of the more common forms of control employed by…

Codependents: It’s Ok Not To Forgive Your Toxic Parents

The headline is perhaps a confusing one to anyone who has experienced trauma and abuse in their life. The helping professions are full of practitioners who deal in the art of forgiveness.  Religious, psychological and philosophical teachings all tell us that forgiveness is essential. “You have to forgive to be able to move on”, they…

Watch The Narcissist Who Flies Under The Radar

The typical image of a narcissist is one who sucks the air out of a room. He or she is the centre of attention and demands centre stage. This is the way that they boost their self-esteem void by making themselves seem far superior to all around them and they truly believe that everyone is…

Defining Healthy Boundaries In Relationships

What exactly is a boundary, when it comes to relationships? Simply put, a boundary is a limit or space between you and the other person; a clear place where you begin and the other person ends. Think of it as a fence in your backyard. You are the gate keeper and get to decide who…

Why Stay When You Know You Have To Leave?

There are times in our lives when big decisions have to be made and the consequences faced, however grim they  may be. How many of us can actually say we enjoy this process? Not many, I guess. However, doing this is part of life and the alternative is probably worse. As humans, we have become…

Going Through Major Change And Dealing With It

Transition and change are a part of life and the human experience, come in many forms and can be sudden or gradually evolving, stressful, pleasurable, or a mixture of both! We change our relationships, jobs, where we live, sometimes our values and beliefs, our goals in life; as well as changes in health. With transition…

See Your Core Beliefs As A Bag To Be Carried And Sorted Through

We all see the world in a specific way. Call it what you will…..paradigm …window on the world…frame of reference, it is all the same. It dictates to a large degree how we think, feel and behave in any given situation. It is our conditioning that we bring from childhood with all the positive and…

The Narcissist Parent And His Chosen Child

Being in a relationship with a narcissist “type” can be hell. However, what if the narcissist is your parent and has cloned you to be a living “perfect” version of him or her? A child chosen to heal the parent’s own broken past. It happens more than we might imagine. For ease, I have highlighted…