Tag: relationships

Two Things Your Marriage Must Have To Survive

There are many theories and models available to inform us what makes a good marriage. Many talk about trust, honesty, faithfulness and effective communication skills. All of these factors are relevant and are essential elements of a good relationship. Any relationship is hard work and that work doesn’t get easier as time goes on but…

A Childhood Guaranteed To Foster Codependency.

It has been said that a large part of the global population is codependent on something or somebody. That something could be work, substances, alcohol. That somebody could be a partner, parent or boss. Yes, there are many ways to be codependent and many are codependent towards more than one “object” leading to a fairly…

Codependents: Letting Go And Relapsing

Codependents love to give. It is what they do, continually. As I have mentioned in previous posts, this giving comes with an element of return… giving for codependents means having control and they try to keep that status quo. However, despite these attempts, it sometimes goes wrong and a decision needs to be made… a…

Responding Quickly To Emotions Is Irrational…. And Here’s Why

There will be many people who come across this post who are stuck. Stuck in life generally but specifically in relationships that are abusive, dysfunctional and with people who care very little about them. They will complain, sometimes medicate themselves, often seek therapy but the urge to stay exactly where they are is overwhelmingly strong.…

Why Codependents Are Sometimes Resistant To Therapy

It is wrong to assume that if codependency is identified as an issue, the person concerned is codependent with everyone in his or her life. There is usually only one or a number of people (or thing, e.g work, substances) but the typical behaviour associated with codependents does not necessarily get projected on everybody. The…

Breaking The Bond Between Narcissist And Codependent

Among my patient group (and circle of friends), there are people who continually allow others to take advantage of them, continue to give and stay in very toxic relationships. They attempt to make themselves indispensable for their partners (and everyone else) and become the local and family martyr. They are the codependents who keep on…

Codependents: Your Narcissist Partner Is A Symptom, Not The Cause

Many codependents that I deal with like to talk about narcissism because it generally plays a big role in their lives. As people who will generally attract the odious, they generally have had to cope with the worst excesses of this type of behaviour. Many stay in relationships with this personality type for many years…

Controlling Codependency: Keeping Others In Line

Narcissists always get a bad press and probably rightly so. (At this point, we should note that we should only use the term narcissist when someone has been officially diagnosed with NPD. Also, there are degrees of narcissism). The common belief is that they are void of compassion and empathy and are not capable of…

After A Narcissist..What Next?

So, you have done the hard part. The narcissist is thankfully gone. It matters little whether discard happened or the courage was finally found to get rid of them, the important thing is that they are gone. So what next? How do you move on from being emotionally, physical and probably financially drained and abused?…