Tag: relationships

Resentment: The Killer Of Relationships

In my daily work as a therapist, I deal with couples who are struggling to keep their relationship together. There are many reasons for this and some are more successful than others at working on the issues that divide them. I have found that it really does not matter what the issue is, if the…

Narcissist Discard: A Blessing In Disguise

Being involved with a narcissist is like having a tornado blow its way through your life. Once it has died down, you are left with a mess. Emotionally, financially and sometimes physically, the victim has suffered greatly. It is incredible how quickly a narcissist can leave their victim and pull away, airbrushing the victim out…

Narcissism: How Devaluing Destroys Their Codependent Victims

If you had the chance to study the way a narcissist behaves in a relationship, you might recognise a distinct pattern. A three stage whirlwind of a relationship that will leave a victim emotionally, physically and maybe also financially destroyed. The first stage, adulation, I dealt with in my last post. The second phase begins…

Codependency: Breaking The Fantasy Of The Adulation Stage

The power a narcissist has over his victim is all encompassing in the adulation stage and the “hooks” created can make even the most intelligent, rational person doubt their own sanity. It is the kind of brainwashing power that when transported onto a larger stage powers dictatorships, sects and ideologies like the Nazi party and…

In 2019, The Choices You Consciously Make Will Be The Difference

I recently had a deep and rather philosophical conversation with a client concerning how much we can truly exercise free will in our lives. Him, going through a difficult period in his life, preferred to believe that we have limited free will and most things that happen to us were predetermined in some shape or…

Masochistic Codependency: Identifying As A Perpetual Victim

Originally posted on Codependency Is Not Love With Dr. Nicholas Jenner:
I doubt you will find the term “masochistic codependency” anywhere. It has, though, come to the fore in my mind many times when treating full-blown codependency. By full- blown, I mean six on a scale of one to five, five being the highest level.…

Increase Your Self-Esteem In 10 Days. Day 2: Your Psychological Self-Portrait

I am offering you the chance to change. Follow a series of posts and increase your self-worth and esteem. Low self-esteem is like a weight around your neck and stops you moving forward but it is not your story. It is the result of believing false stories and having a “I am bad” mental filter.…

Codependency: Why Red Flags Give Us All The Information We Need

“The red flags are usually there, you just have to keep your eyes open wider than your heart.” ― April Mae Monterrosa In my daily work with codependents, I hear a lot about so-called “red-flags”. Usually this comes when clients are describing the early stages of a relationship they were or are in. If they are describing…

Parental Alienation: A Call For Action

In an ideal world, there would be no divorce or separation and children would grow up in healthy, happy homes with two loving parents who loved each other and them. Reality tells us that while this sometimes happens, many times it doesn’t and marriages and relationships fail. Children placed in these situations should not only…

Podcast: Moving On After A Break-Up

Have you just broken up? Feeling bad… Not knowing where to go or what to do? Listen to the new podcast around Dr. Nicholas Jenner’s book “Our Quest For Happily Ever After & Why It sometimes does Not Work’. We discuss a section taken from the third chapter of the book called: “Taking The First Steps…