Tag: relationships

Meeting Your Younger Self Tells You All You Need To Know

While doing inner child work with clients, I often run them through a guided visualisation where they meet and greet a younger version of themselves. It is mostly an incredibly emotional experience but also gleans insight into how really connected they are with their past and subsequently, the emotions attached to it. At the end…

Soothing Our “Child Part” Will Keep The Narcissist At Bay

I have worked with codependents for many years and have witnessed first-hand the devastation that occurs when a cruel, self-centred individual breezes in and out of their life. Life is not the same for a while and self-confidence and a belief in ability to live life in a functional way is replaced by low self-esteem,…

Conditioning can be changed but it takes hard work and awareness.

A client who has been coming to therapy for quite some time, recently had a revelation where she finally realised that her family had conditioned her as a child to believe that she needed to behave in a certain way. Intellectually, she always knew this but emotionally she could not accept it. She had always…

Having Trouble With Conflict Management And Resolution; Set Rules

Many good relationships can be tarnished by conflict. Conflict is truly inevitable when two people come together and the ability to manage it and find solutions will go a long way to predicting how long they might stay together. In fact, many observers will suggest that it is probably the most important aspect of a…

Why Codependents Often Think Narcissist Abuse Is Because Of Them

Sometimes the hardest task for a therapist is to convince a codependent that they have actually been abused by their narcissist (ex) partner. Look at some of the statements I have heard: “If I had not been so needy, maybe it would have worked” “It must have been me. All other relationships I had were…

How To Effectively Deal With Change

We all have to face change. Whether it is forced on us by such things as a relationship break-up or illness or if, more positively we decide to make that change by choice, change is never easy and will often need time for adjustment. We actually face change more often than we think but the…

Moving On From A Broken Relationship

Any break-up is a shock to the system, coupled with self doubt, regret and the normal process of analysis that follows. Unless you are a person devoid of emotion, it is a truly nerve-wracking experience to end a relationship or to be on the receiving end. Tough as this time is, there are things that…

Codependency Stories Day 10: Day 1 Revisited

Today, we revisit the exploits of A and B who were the focus of Diary Week 1. After a few weeks of harmony, yet another fight happened which led to A giving B the silent treatment for three days. Even though this was hard for B, she waited out the time after a period of…