Tag: Relationship with a narcissist

Why Codependents Often Think Narcissist Abuse Is Because Of Them

Sometimes the hardest task for a therapist is to convince a codependent that they have actually been abused by their narcissist (ex) partner. Look at some of the statements I have heard: “If I had not been so needy, maybe it would have worked” “It must have been me. All other relationships I had were…

Why Most Codependents Are Women

The ideal woman for many men comes straight out of a codependent checklist. Many women are taught from an early age that they have to be a certain “way” around men. I have often dealt with women who are involved with abusive, emotionally distant men and cannot see that this is not functional for them.…

Codependency Stories Day 13: Trauma Bonding With A Narcissist

Today we meet J who is in an abusive relationship with S. In therapy, she has documented evidence of frequent physical, emotional and verbal abuse. She has lost all her self-confidence that she claimed to have had before and spends most of her time wondering why she is in the kind of relationship she is…

Codependency Stories Day 10: Day 1 Revisited

Today, we revisit the exploits of A and B who were the focus of Diary Week 1. After a few weeks of harmony, yet another fight happened which led to A giving B the silent treatment for three days. Even though this was hard for B, she waited out the time after a period of…

Codependency Stories Day 3

Today we meet R. An elderly woman who has been married for 40 years to¬†an emotionally distant husband in a very dysfunctional relationship. The physical side of their relationship is non-existent and things at home are complicated by the fact that their 35-year-old son still lives at home. Her husband tries to spend as little…

Masochistic Personality Disorder And Codependency.

Masochistic Personality Disorder was removed from the latest version of the DSM. Some eminent scholars, notably Theodore Millon, regard its removal as a mistake and lobby for its reinstatement in future editions. Whether or not it it is documented in the manual or not, there is ample evidence that it exists in some form and…

Podcast: Codependency No More

In 2015, I had the pleasure of taking part in a podcast that looked at how inner child therapy can help with codependency. The podcast was recieved favourably by many people and now I am offering you the chance to hear it again: Listen to the podcast Here Below is the introduction to the podcast…

Combining Two Effective Therapies To Help Codependents

Codependency is a complex issue and many therapists doubt its existence. They might agree somewhat with the classic definition of codependency where an enabling partner helps an addict maintain his addiction but the idea of codependency in relationships, the love addiction, is disputed. However, codependency in relationships is something I see and work with every…