Tag: Relationship abuse

After Narcissist Abuse: Avoiding The Gaslighting That Will Certainly Come

The time has finally come. Your friendly neighbourhood narcissist has decided to ship out and move on to his next victim. The disappointment, guilt and feelings of being abused hurt and will take some time to get over but with him gone, it will certainly get slowly easier. However, the choice whether it is the…

Codependency: Breaking The Fantasy Of The Adulation Stage

The power a narcissist has over his victim is all encompassing in the adulation stage and the “hooks” created can make even the most intelligent, rational person doubt their own sanity. It is the kind of brainwashing power that when transported onto a larger stage powers dictatorships, sects and ideologies like the Nazi party and…

Codependency: The Black And White Quest For Lost Connection.

Imagine deciding to walk from one town to another while carrying a two hundred pound weight? Then, when you finally shed the weight, someone comes along with something even heavier or more difficult to carry or you give up completely and decide to go home? You would be left with a choice where neither scenario…

A New Year. New Codependency Issues

I read an article recently about happiness written by a journalist who works for the Times in London. He was commenting about a book he was reading, given to him at Christmas, about how to find happiness in 2019. The title doesn’t really matter, as there are many such books on the market and as…

Stop The Rage In Your Relationship

It is a fact to be taken for granted that couples argue and conflict will be a feature in their relationship. Conflict in itself is not bad and in fact it can improve a relationship if the couple concerned can learn from it. Arguing constructively is the ideal method to use conflict to better a…

Codependency: One Thought From Relapse

When you recognise and become aware that you are indeed a codependent, the hard work really starts. Even codependents who have a good handle on their triggers and situations that could cause a relapse have to fight hard to keep them in check. As one of my recovering patients said quite rightly “You are only…

The Health Of Your Relationship Can Be Judged By The Way You Fight

“Lets not forget it’s you and me vs. problem. Not you vs. me” -Unknown If you have been in a relationship that has lasted longer than a few months, you will know that conflict and argument are going to be a part of it. It is just that way. Two separate individuals with different viewpoints…

Don’t Confuse Codependency With Love

These days we throw the words “narcissist” and “codependent” around like confetti. It is easy to label someone who appears self-centered as the former and one who gives a little bit too much as the latter. Despite the fact that we can easily recognise these traits in people, it is always dangerous to label people…

Online Therapy for Codependency: A Testimonial

Ever since I started doing therapy online in 2011, I have dealt with many different disorders. Early on, it was a transitional phase moving from office to online but it quickly moved on. In my office based practice, I dealt with a lot of codependent clients and this has increasingly been the case since 2011.…

The Drama Triangle: A Key Element Of Codependent Control.

I have often documented here how much control exists in codependent thinking. In contrast to their nemesis (someone with narcissist tendencies), codependents are generally nice people who are willing to do most anything for the object of their codependency (usually a partner, sometimes a parent or employer and often all three). However, that ‘most anything’…