Tag: Psychology

Narcissist Abuse Syndrome: Elements of Stockholm Syndrome and PTSD

I once had a client who was involved with the most abusive, self-absorbed, self-centred, controlling man you could ever imagine.  He abused her physically, emotionally, financially and verbally to the deepest levels. He was the nastiest individual I had ever come across in my many years as a practicing therapist. There was not a scrap…

How We Sabotage Our Ability To Get Things Done….

I have written quite a lot lately about reaching a point where change is possible, moving forward is possible and it just takes that step or choice to make it happen. This is where many people get stuck in the hamster wheel of over analysis and procrastination. The “Manager” protector is usually very strong here.…

Only Definitive Action Can Move You Forward.

As humans, we are used to making excuses, taking the easy way out and procrastinating things we know need doing. With so much technology available these days at our fingertips, we can always find a way to distract ourselves from the main thing. It is part of our make-up and is hard to shrug off,…

What To Do When The Protectors Provoke The Anger In You

In my job, I deal daily with lots of angry people. There are those who are angry about something specific (and sometimes have a right to be) and those who are just angry. Sometimes, they do not even know why and they are often angry at things that they have no influence over at all.…

What Our Protector Voices Tell Us….The Bad News Is…We Believe Them!

When we allow our thinking patterns to “protect” us , we often feel there is no escape, no matter how hard we try.  These thinking traps are exactly that, thinking and behaviour that are ingrained and seemingly impossible to shift. They subdue the Self and the true fears that we need to face. They “protect”…

Codependents In The Midst Of Corporate Narcissism

Something you may not know about my career is that I used to work a lot with corporate clients, especially banks and financial institutions. I would be called in to help managers, key employees and eventually board members deal with stress and burnout. Much of what I saw in the corporate world horrified me in…

Promote The Self But Thank The Protectors

As part of the 7 Day Challenge, I wrote about polarised thinking and how the battle for control of the various “parts” of our personality can lead us to such extremes as being stuck, procrastination, people pleasing and addiction. The antidote to these “protectors” is the promotion of the “Self”, the logical, reasonable, calm adult voice…

The 7 Day Challenge: Reflections

This will sound a little strange. I often have my best ideas about new posts and podcasts in the middle of the night when it wakes me up and I do my best to remember the detail in the morning. So it was with the 7 Day Challenge that was really a response to a…

The 7 Day Challenge: A Summary

The 7 Day Challenge is over. If I look at the mails and responses I have had, many people followed it at least part way through. Not surprisingly, the most popular days were 2 and 4 that examined reasons why people find it difficult to move forward and the reasons why. In my experience of…

The 7 Day Challenge Day 6: Test Your Commitment

If you have been following the 7 Day Challenge, you might well now have reached the point where you have identified an issue, tested your resistance, looked at possible solutions and looked at your thinking around this and tried to beat your demons. Today, I am asking you to commit to changing that issue before…