Tag: narcissist

Narcissist Abuse: Being Hooked By The Illusion

As humans, we have a never-ending ability to see the good in others. We forgive, we forget, we give the benefit of the doubt. Admirable as these qualities are, it might sometimes leave us with a lack of objectivity. The objectivity we need to make decisions. In the case of relationships, we can react appropriately…

Why Codependents Often Think Narcissist Abuse Is Because Of Them

Sometimes the hardest task for a therapist is to convince a codependent that they have actually been abused by their narcissist (ex) partner. Look at some of the statements I have heard: “If I had not been so needy, maybe it would have worked” “It must have been me. All other relationships I had were…

The Many Manifestations Of The Inner Critic

The concept of an inner critic is well known but most people have to deal with more than one manifestation. There might be one that attacks you for doing too much of something and another who then berates you for being lazy. The advice would be to work with each separately. I will now look…

After Narcissist Brainwashing, Breaking The Fantasy Is Essential

I am an avid watcher of the many well-produced documentaries on Netflix. They cover a wide range of topics from unsolved crimes through the working of the drugs trade. I find most fascinating the ones that deal with some form of psychological subject and how the mind works. Just recently, there has been a series…

Narcissist Discard: A Blessing In Disguise

Being involved with a narcissist is like having a tornado blow its way through your life. Once it has died down, you are left with a mess. Emotionally, financially and sometimes physically, the victim has suffered greatly. It is incredible how quickly a narcissist can leave their victim and pull away, airbrushing the victim out…

Narcissism: How Devaluing Destroys Their Codependent Victims

If you had the chance to study the way a narcissist behaves in a relationship, you might recognise a distinct pattern. A three stage whirlwind of a relationship that will leave a victim emotionally, physically and maybe also financially destroyed. The first stage, adulation, I dealt with in my last post. The second phase begins…

Codependency: Breaking The Fantasy Of The Adulation Stage

The power a narcissist has over his victim is all encompassing in the adulation stage and the “hooks” created can make even the most intelligent, rational person doubt their own sanity. It is the kind of brainwashing power that when transported onto a larger stage powers dictatorships, sects and ideologies like the Nazi party and…

Codependency: One Thought From Relapse

When you recognise and become aware that you are indeed a codependent, the hard work really starts. Even codependents who have a good handle on their triggers and situations that could cause a relapse have to fight hard to keep them in check. As one of my recovering patients said quite rightly “You are only…