Tag: matter of choice

How Listening Skills Make The Difference

As a therapist, I do a lot of couples therapy. That means I deal frequently with warring, dysfunctional relationships in most cases. Most people enter couples therapy as a last resort to save their marriage or relationship. Some expect me to tell them what to do. Others are surprised when I tell them it is…

Podcast: The Love Hangover. Why Codependents Get Stuck

As a codependent, it is tough to end a toxic relationship. However, many codependents falter while dealing with the aftermath and being alone. Learn how you can navigate yourself through this process.   Blogposts and videos mentioned in this podcast are available here: – (Blogpost) Codependency: getting what you truly want is scary: https://freefromcodependency.com/2017… –…

6 Ways To Get Over A Bad Break Up…. 1 to 3

Anyone who has been through a break-up will testify to the feelings that surround it. Let’s face it, no-one likes being left and in reality, also ending a relationship is not easy. Invariably, we all generally get it wrong. Whether you ended the relationship or were on the receiving end, feelings can run high and…

Perfectionism Is Truly Driven By Self Defeating Thoughts

Samuel McChord Crothers once wrote ” try as hard as we may for perfection, the net result of our labours is an amazing variety of imperfectness. We are surprised at our own versatility in being able to fail in so many different ways.” Do you feel like what you accomplish is never quite good enough?…

Book Excerpt: Conflict And The Window Of Opportunity

I generally have many quarrelling couples amongst my clients. You might say some couples are just like that. We all know some that seem to thrive on the tension that exists between them. From my point of view, this is often the norm. Most couples come into therapy because an essential element is missing in…

Those Who Say Can’t Usually Mean Won’t

How many times have you heard someone say “I can’t change”? If you are like me, you have heard it many times. In most cases, what is really being said is “I won’t change”… I am happy with how I am and I see no reason to change. When you are in a relationship with…

The Way We See The Problem, Often Is The Problem

I always remember the quote ” Life is about the choices you make. If you want a better life, make different choices”.  This very true quote is often lost on people who blame their circumstances, upbringing or insecurity for not making a decision that could change their lives. This comes to mind when I see the…

Recognise Your Inner Critic And How It Works

“I am really driven, but my drive doesn’t affect the conversations I have in my head about life, and my worries and fears and insecurities.” Zach Braff . The concept of an inner critic is well known but most people have to deal with more than one manifestation. There might be one that attacks you for doing…

Mental Health Still Carries a Stigma

When I was young, my family would often travel to a nearby town to visit family friends. As a child, it was not my favorite pastime and I often felt forced to play with the kids in the family which at that age was a chore. However, the father of the family was the big…