Tag: love

Dealing With Internal Conflict: A Case Study Part 2: Leadership And Action

What is the point of therapy unless there is a clear measurable goal? A question I have often asked myself and one that I am sure many people who seek therapy ask themselves too. There are many therapeutic approaches that are non-directional, that is the aim is not to direct proceedings but to facilitate change…

Codependency: From Co To Counter

Due to their lack of self-esteem and the inability to self-care, codependents become enmeshed with others easily. They work on the idea that all the while they are like this, they do not have to face their own acute issues. They seek their validation from outside and react badly when this is not forthcoming in…

Relationship Success? Luckily For Me, I Have One That Works But It Doesn’t Come Easily.

About this time of year, most people are reflecting on things that took place over the last year. You will find thousands of articles of this kind and even more as people start to think about New Year resolutions. Even people who do not write often will feel compelled to give their thoughts. Many will…

Don’t Confuse Codependency With Love

These days we throw the words “narcissist” and “codependent” around like confetti. It is easy to label someone who appears self-centered as the former and one who gives a little bit too much as the latter. Despite the fact that we can easily recognise these traits in people, it is always dangerous to label people…

Codependents: It’s Ok Not To Forgive Your Toxic Parents

The headline is perhaps a confusing one to anyone who has experienced trauma and abuse in their life. The helping professions are full of practitioners who deal in the art of forgiveness.  Religious, psychological and philosophical teachings all tell us that forgiveness is essential. “You have to forgive to be able to move on”, they…

The Cost Of Appeasing The Gods That Are Our Toxic Parents

In our childhood, we have a huge problem. We idolise those who brought us into the world unconditionally. They are Gods to us and our source of supply for everything we need and wish. As children start to develop, they come to realise that the Gods who could do no wrong are just as flawed…

Is Our Path In Life Defined By Abuse?

One of the enduring questions of human development and behaviour is why we take the paths that we do. What influences us in our choice of partner, profession, lifestyle and other things that make us who we are? This is a deep and complicated question even if a “good enough” upbringing has been experienced but…

5 Things You Can Do Right Now To Change Your Life

Life doesn’t always go as planned. As humans, we have to face constant changes in our lives and sometimes we get stuck. We get stuck in jobs, relationships, situations and life generally. Sometimes, we can pull through, other times more difficult. We are generally a resilient species and mostly we do what we can to…

Watch The Narcissist Who Flies Under The Radar

The typical image of a narcissist is one who sucks the air out of a room. He or she is the center of attention and demands center stage. This is the way that they boost their self-esteem void by making themselves seem far superior to all around them and they truly believe that everyone is…

Titbits From The Week That Was

  Boundaries Continue To Be An Issue Much of my work is about discussing how to set and maintain boundaries in personal and work relationships. Many people have no issue learning to set boundaries when they see the sense in that. However, they have big issues with maintaining them and setting consequences if boundaries continue…