Tag: inner reflection

The Basis Of The Inner Critic

Depression teaches us that we are not deserving of a normal, fruitful life. We go through long periods of believing that there is something inherently wrong with us. One of the major factors in this process is the formation of an inner critic which is a major underlying cause of depression and low self-esteem.  The…

With Narcissists, Action Always Speaks Louder Than Words

When we start a new relationship, we let a few things go that we might not later. We don’t always set boundaries or recognise so-called ‘red flags’. The adrenaline is just running too high and that is just the way we want it. We want to enjoy this new feeling before routine sets in and…

Partners And Spouses Can Truly Help The Therapeutic Process

Let’s face it, therapy is hard work. Undertaking the process means facing things that have been sometimes locked away for years. Once you open that door, you are never sure who or what will come through it. One thing is for sure, therapy is not some Harry Potter type magic that can wipe away issues…

Being An Online Therapy Client

Many people reading this will have heard of online therapy but might find it hard to imagine how it works. What better than to hear from someone who has been there and done that. Here one of my former patients shares her experiences of life in online therapy. I was a reluctant client at first…

A Reflection On Online Therapy…10 years After

I have now being practicing online for about 10 years. From the early attempts using Skype and low internet bandwidth, I have moved to fibre optic internet and encrypted video systems.  Of course, this level of technology is an essential part of what I do and without it, nothing works. However, there is a lot…

The Inner Rebel: The Basis Of Addiction And Instant Gratification

I have written many times about the inner critic and the devastating effect he/she can have on the way we see the world. It consolidates rigid thinking that leaves us afraid to take risks, face normal challenges and move forward from situations that are dysfunctional. It fills us with fear and dread in its irrational…

Working With Your Inner Critic

There are a range of books that tell us how to deal with our family of inner critics. Most centre on mantras and progressively aggressive language to deal with them. While this can be useful, we have to remember that by isolating the critic and pushing it away, we are maybe losing an ideal opportunity…

Identify The Rebel And The Critic And Release The Champion

When I sometimes take the time to analyse my patients at any given point, there are always many codependents among them. This might be because I have had my own issues with this and like to work with them or it might just be an indication of the size of the issue. Contrary to people…

How Listening Skills Make The Difference

As a therapist, I do a lot of couples therapy. That means I deal frequently with warring, dysfunctional relationships in most cases. Most people enter couples therapy as a last resort to save their marriage or relationship. Some expect me to tell them what to do. Others are surprised when I tell them it is…

Podcast: The Love Hangover. Why Codependents Get Stuck

As a codependent, it is tough to end a toxic relationship. However, many codependents falter while dealing with the aftermath and being alone. Learn how you can navigate yourself through this process.   Blogposts and videos mentioned in this podcast are available here: – (Blogpost) Codependency: getting what you truly want is scary: https://freefromcodependency.com/2017… –…