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Let’s Recognise Codependency For What It Is

At the time of writing, the term “codependency” cannot be found in any diagnostic manual anywhere. It is simply not classed as a recognisable disorder and as discussed earlier, some doubt it even exists in the form we accept today. This also includes many therapists who like to see it as a symptom of something…

Childhood: Where Codependency All Starts

It has been said that a large part of the global population is codependent on something or somebody. That something could be work, substances, alcohol. That somebody could be a partner, parent or boss. Yes, there are many ways to be codependent and many are codependent towards more than one “object” leading to a fairly…

5 Things You Can Do Right Now To Change Your Life

Life doesn’t always go as planned. As humans, we have to face constant changes in our lives and sometimes we get stuck. We get stuck in jobs, relationships, situations and life generally. Sometimes, we can pull through, other times more difficult. We are generally a resilient species and mostly we do what we can to…

Conflict: Problem Solving Rather Than Accusation

When problems arise in a relationship, couples are often told they need to “communicate” – or talk to each other. If a couple is in crisis, my feeling is that they need to talk more and not less. However, even those who do this often do not know how to talk about problems effectively and…

Defining Healthy Boundaries In Relationships

What exactly is a boundary, when it comes to relationships? Simply put, a boundary is a limit or space between you and the other person; a clear place where you begin and the other person ends. Think of it as a fence in your backyard. You are the gate keeper and get to decide who…

Why Stay When You Know You Have To Leave?

There are times in our lives when big decisions have to be made and the consequences faced, however grim they  may be. How many of us can actually say we enjoy this process? Not many, I guess. However, doing this is part of life and the alternative is probably worse. As humans, we have become…

The Power Of Nature Can Bring Everything Into Perspective.

I recently watched a documentary on the Vietnam War. I vividly remember the images on black and white TV in the Sixties when it was happening. A pointless war where thousands died and the effects are still being felt today on both sides. One thing the documentary taught me was that wars are started by…

Emotional Honesty: What It Is And Why It Is Important

Most people are emotionally dishonest for various reasons. A bold statement, maybe but in my experience it is a true statement. Look at this quote: “Most of us feel that others will not tolerate emotional honesty. We would rather defend our dishonesty on the grounds that it might hurt others; and having rationalised our phoniness into…