Tag: fear of failure

Re-parenting your Inner Child

We have seen clearly in my previous set of posts how an inner critic is formed from the defence mechanisms used by the wounded, criticised child and how these can be taken forward into adulthood. Part of the process of dealing with the inner critic and the chaos it causes is to re-parent our inner…

Clue Up On SAD: It Affects More People Than You Might Think.

As I woke up this morning, I realised that something was different. I’m not talking here about the ageing process here but the sudden change in the weather. Summer had seemed to turn into fall overnight. Drizzly rain, dark clouds and that nip in the air. Realistically there is a good chance that the warmer…

Punishment is not Discipline (Part 2) Considerations

When my daughter who is now 30 started crawling, we attended as a couple some parenting classes. This was supplemented by visits from the seminar leader to consolidate the theory in practice. We thought at the time..why not? We are young, this is our first child and we thought we could surely learn something. As…

Punishment is not Discipline (Part 1)

The first weeks of a baby’s life can be gruelling and tiring for the new parents. Some parents can be completely overwhelmed with this new life that is suddenly thrust upon them. During these early phases, mistakes can be made that can have an effect in the years to come.  Experts often cite the first…

Staying With Your Partner After Infidelity?

Once infidelity occurs in a relationship, it breaks the foundation of trust that might have been the one of the main reasons the relationship maintained itself. Let’s face it, many marriages will not survive infidelity and there will be an immediate or gradual separation. However, a few decide to work on it and in that…

Take Your Internal Family To A Safe Place

In my last post, I talked about the value of meeting a “younger self” in visualisation. I said and believe that this is an emotional but worthwhile step in trying to come to terms with childhood trauma, lack of connection or other dysfunctional aspects of a parent-child relationship. It brings a good amount of awareness,…

Meeting Your Younger Self Tells You All You Need To Know

While doing inner child work with clients, I often run them through a guided visualisation where they meet and greet a younger version of themselves. It is mostly an incredibly emotional experience but also gleans insight into how really connected they are with their past and subsequently, the emotions attached to it. At the end…

Soothing Our “Child Part” Will Keep The Narcissist At Bay

I have worked with codependents for many years and have witnessed first-hand the devastation that occurs when a cruel, self-centred individual breezes in and out of their life. Life is not the same for a while and self-confidence and a belief in ability to live life in a functional way is replaced by low self-esteem,…

Narcissist Abuse: Being Hooked By The Illusion

As humans, we have a never-ending ability to see the good in others. We forgive, we forget, we give the benefit of the doubt. Admirable as these qualities are, it might sometimes leave us with a lack of objectivity. The objectivity we need to make decisions. In the case of relationships, we can react appropriately…

Conditioning can be changed but it takes hard work and awareness.

A client who has been coming to therapy for quite some time, recently had a revelation where she finally realised that her family had conditioned her as a child to believe that she needed to behave in a certain way. Intellectually, she always knew this but emotionally she could not accept it. She had always…