Tag: failure

Nostalgia And Connecting With My Inner Self

I have recently been very nostalgic about the Seventies. Not with any great fondness but it was a very significant time for me. In this decade, I went from being 8 to 18 and my near adult self was formed. Growing up in the UK at this time was not easy. The political  situation was…

Codependency: How To Give Up Control And Stop Rescuing Everyone

Codependency is a lot about control and controlling others. I have documented various methods frequently on this blog and how they manifest themselves into the typical dysfunctional behaviour associated with codependency. Codependents need control to feel secure and are loath to give this power away. One of the more common forms of control employed by…

Codependents: It’s Ok Not To Forgive Your Toxic Parents

The headline is perhaps a confusing one to anyone who has experienced trauma and abuse in their life. The helping professions are full of practitioners who deal in the art of forgiveness.  Religious, psychological and philosophical teachings all tell us that forgiveness is essential. “You have to forgive to be able to move on”, they…

The Cost Of Appeasing The Gods That Are Our Toxic Parents

In our childhood, we have a huge problem. We idolise those who brought us into the world unconditionally. They are Gods to us and our source of supply for everything we need and wish. As children start to develop, they come to realise that the Gods who could do no wrong are just as flawed…

Is Our Path In Life Defined By Abuse?

One of the enduring questions of human development and behaviour is why we take the paths that we do. What influences us in our choice of partner, profession, lifestyle and other things that make us who we are? This is a deep and complicated question even if a “good enough” upbringing has been experienced but…

5 Things You Can Do Right Now To Change Your Life

Life doesn’t always go as planned. As humans, we have to face constant changes in our lives and sometimes we get stuck. We get stuck in jobs, relationships, situations and life generally. Sometimes, we can pull through, other times more difficult. We are generally a resilient species and mostly we do what we can to…

Watch The Narcissist Who Flies Under The Radar

The typical image of a narcissist is one who sucks the air out of a room. He or she is the center of attention and demands center stage. This is the way that they boost their self-esteem void by making themselves seem far superior to all around them and they truly believe that everyone is…

Titbits From The Week That Was

  Boundaries Continue To Be An Issue Much of my work is about discussing how to set and maintain boundaries in personal and work relationships. Many people have no issue learning to set boundaries when they see the sense in that. However, they have big issues with maintaining them and setting consequences if boundaries continue…