Tag: dysfunctional thought patterns

Where Do You Rank On The Measure Of Self-Esteem?

Self-esteem is in essence a measurement.  We rate ourselves against a variety of criteria to come up with a value of our worth. The big problem is that we often rate ourselves against impossible criteria and judge ourselves too harshly and produce an inaccurate picture. I have been offering online therapy for over 10 years.…

Gaining Awareness Of Your Internal Family – Dr Nicholas Jenner Podcast (Season 1 – Podcast 1/3)

Welcome to the first of three podcasts that examine how your thinking can keep you stuck, how to take leadership and move forward and how your thinking works in specific situations. Many theorists when talking about how we think have worked on the premise that our mind and personality is unitary. That means that we…

Introducing A New Season Of Podcasts: Use Your Internal Family To Move Forward

The best way to example the upcoming podcasts is with a personal anecdote. This example, I believe, highlights perfectly the internal struggle we all have daily when triggered, when overwhelmed, when ruminating and when trying to make a decision about our lives. I was about ten years old when I remember being with my siblings…

Dealing With Internal Conflict: A Case Study Part 2: Leadership And Action

What is the point of therapy unless there is a clear measurable goal? A question I have often asked myself and one that I am sure many people who seek therapy ask themselves too. There are many therapeutic approaches that are non-directional, that is the aim is not to direct proceedings but to facilitate change…

Let’s Recognise Codependency For What It Is

At the time of writing, the term “codependency” cannot be found in any diagnostic manual anywhere. It is simply not classed as a recognisable disorder and as discussed earlier, some doubt it even exists in the form we accept today. This also includes many therapists who like to see it as a symptom of something…

Perfection Doesn’t Exist But We Still Try Hard To Prove That Theory Wrong.

Samuel McChord Crothers once wrote ” try as hard as we may for perfection, the net result of our labors is an amazing variety of imperfectness. We are surprised at our own versatility in being able to fail in so many different ways.” Do you feel like what you accomplish is never quite good enough? Do you often put things…

Masochistic Codependency: Identifying As A Perpetual Victim

Originally posted on Codependency Is Not Love With Dr. Nicholas Jenner:
I doubt you will find the term “masochistic codependency” anywhere. It has, though, come to the fore in my mind many times when treating full-blown codependency. By full- blown, I mean six on a scale of one to five, five being the highest level.…

Thinking Of Yourself Is Not Narcissism. Your Needs Are Important And It Starts With You

There is a fine line between meeting your own needs in a healthy sense and expecting to take everything around you. This is the fundamental line that many find difficult to navigate and feel guilt and shame when they try to think of themselves. Consequently, many people spend their life making sure everyone else is…

How Do You Know You Have The One?

While recently browsing a national UK newspaper,  I came across an article concerning a comment made by Barack Obama concerning the questions you might ask yourself about a potential partner before committing yourself to a long term relationship with them. They are as as follows: “Here’s the advice I give everyone about marriage—is she someone…

Sometimes Codependents Need Saving From Themselves

The masses of literature available on the Codependency-Narcissism dance will tell you there are enough of both in this world to make it a big issue. There are many relationships I come across where all logic has apparently been thrown to one side and it is very difficult to understand sometimes why things happen the…