Tag: DR Nicholas Jenner

A Childhood Guaranteed To Foster Codependency.

It has been said that a large part of the global population is codependent on something or somebody. That something could be work, substances, alcohol. That somebody could be a partner, parent or boss. Yes, there are many ways to be codependent and many are codependent towards more than one “object” leading to a fairly…

Spanking Doesn’t Work And Drives Bad Behaviour Underground

Over the weekend, I witnessed a physical assault on a young child. You might not be surprised to know that he was with his parents at the time. I was in a store with my wife and a couple who had previously allowed their young boy to run around unattended, suddenly sprung into action when…

Responding Quickly To Emotions Is Irrational…. And Here’s Why

There will be many people who come across this post who are stuck. Stuck in life generally but specifically in relationships that are abusive, dysfunctional and with people who care very little about them. They will complain, sometimes medicate themselves, often seek therapy but the urge to stay exactly where they are is overwhelmingly strong.…

Breaking The Bond Between Narcissist And Codependent

Among my patient group (and circle of friends), there are people who continually allow others to take advantage of them, continue to give and stay in very toxic relationships. They attempt to make themselves indispensable for their partners (and everyone else) and become the local and family martyr. They are the codependents who keep on…

Codependents: Your Narcissist Partner Is A Symptom, Not The Cause

Many codependents that I deal with like to talk about narcissism because it generally plays a big role in their lives. As people who will generally attract the odious, they generally have had to cope with the worst excesses of this type of behaviour. Many stay in relationships with this personality type for many years…

Controlling Codependency: Keeping Others In Line

Narcissists always get a bad press and probably rightly so. (At this point, we should note that we should only use the term narcissist when someone has been officially diagnosed with NPD. Also, there are degrees of narcissism). The common belief is that they are void of compassion and empathy and are not capable of…

After A Narcissist..What Next?

So, you have done the hard part. The narcissist is thankfully gone. It matters little whether discard happened or the courage was finally found to get rid of them, the important thing is that they are gone. So what next? How do you move on from being emotionally, physical and probably financially drained and abused?…

Staying With Your Partner After Infidelity?

Once infidelity occurs in a relationship, it breaks the foundation of trust that might have been the one of the main reasons the relationship maintained itself. Let’s face it, many marriages will not survive infidelity and there will be an immediate or gradual separation. However, a few decide to work on it and in that…

Take Your Internal Family To A Safe Place

In my last post, I talked about the value of meeting a “younger self” in visualisation. I said and believe that this is an emotional but worthwhile step in trying to come to terms with childhood trauma, lack of connection or other dysfunctional aspects of a parent-child relationship. It brings a good amount of awareness,…

Meeting Your Younger Self Tells You All You Need To Know

While doing inner child work with clients, I often run them through a guided visualisation where they meet and greet a younger version of themselves. It is mostly an incredibly emotional experience but also gleans insight into how really connected they are with their past and subsequently, the emotions attached to it. At the end…