Tag: DR Nicholas Jenner

Logic vs Emotion: Why Codependents Often Lose This Critical Battle

There will be many people who come across this post who are stuck. Stuck in life generally but specifically in relationships that are abusive, dysfunctional and with people who care very little about them. They will complain, sometimes medicate themselves, often seek therapy but the urge to stay exactly where they are is overwhelmingly strong.…

Being Codependent Stops You Facing The Real Issues

Codependents generally have an unhealthy focus on the external. In many cases, this focus is on a specific person (usually emotionally unavailable) but it can also be on work, to take an example. Why they do this has been well documented. I wrote about the roots of codependency recently and it is commonly agreed to…

Codependency: How A Parent Can Make The Difference

There are all types of parents and all types of parenting styles. Parents normally parent how they were parented themselves, good or bad. Where else would they get the knowledge they need? It is their first point of reference and this is sometimes why the same issues run through generations of the same family. I…

Mistakes Are Part Of The Human Experience… They Are A Valuable Learning Tool

Many people have written about the human condition because it fascinates people. It is fascinating and it changes as time goes on. Carl Rogers, as part of his people-centered therapeutic approach truly believed that all humans have the inherent need, ability and desire to improve themselves and become better people. Stephen Covey, in his groundbreaking…

Mindful Acceptance Leads To Self-Compassion

“The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.” ― M. Scott Peck As a…

The Critical Aspects of Codependency Recovery

At the heart of this process is a willingness to work on oneself and to accept that co-dependency is an issue in relationships. This means accepting responsibility for change and not passing that responsibility (or blame) onto others. It takes courage to look at and assess early life experiences and learn new skills that will help deal with early…

Counter-dependency: Fleeing Intimacy And Connection

Many of my recent posts have delved into some of the root causes of codependency and how developmental trauma plays a major role. This puts parenting (or the lack of it) at the centre of discussion. As I discussed recently in a post The Roots Of Codependency, we all go through a codependent phase, just…

Recovery from Codependency Is Ultimately About Making The Right Choices

There are many programs that one can subscribe to in order to recover from a codependent life. All of them offer something different from different angles and theories. There are many good therapists and coaches doing good work in order to help others find a new way. My opinion is that codependency is better looked…

The Lack Of Psychological Birth That Leads To Codependency

Codependency is not a disease and should not be treated like one. When managed care systems finally recognise it as a disorder, there will surely be a push to apply a medical model to recovery, where such systems are only willing to pay for a few sessions supplemented by medication. It is my firm opinion…

A Childhood Guaranteed To Foster Codependency.

It has been said that a large part of the global population is codependent on something or somebody. That something could be work, substances, alcohol. That somebody could be a partner, parent or boss. Yes, there are many ways to be codependent and many are codependent towards more than one “object” leading to a fairly…