Tag: divorce and separation

The Basis Of The Inner Critic

Depression teaches us that we are not deserving of a normal, fruitful life. We go through long periods of believing that there is something inherently wrong with us. One of the major factors in this process is the formation of an inner critic which is a major underlying cause of depression and low self-esteem.  The…

With Narcissists, Action Always Speaks Louder Than Words

When we start a new relationship, we let a few things go that we might not later. We don’t always set boundaries or recognise so-called ‘red flags’. The adrenaline is just running too high and that is just the way we want it. We want to enjoy this new feeling before routine sets in and…

Codependency? Control Not Love

These days we throw the words “narcissist” and “codependent” around like confetti. It is easy to label someone who appears self-centered as the former and one who gives a little bit too much as the latter. Despite the fact that we can easily recognise these traits in people, it is always dangerous to label people…

Dealing With Life’s Small (And Not So Small) Setbacks

Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat.  It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only  by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing. Failure (or the perception of failure) is something we all must come to terms with. Businesses and relationships fail…

Decision Making? A Reflection Of Your Self Esteem

Every day, we are faced with a decision to make. Sometimes, they are small and sometimes, they are decisions of great magnitude. However, many people have trouble coming to a conclusion whatever the size of the task. They usually fall into the following categories of dysfunction that will guarantee that nothing will get decided. Which…

2018: The Year To Beat Codependency!

It is all about choice…. yes, choice. Our own personal choice and we do have it, despite what we think sometimes.  For codependents, personal choice is often a concept that escapes them. They feel their destiny and choices are in the hands of others. WRONG! Anyone can take the steps they need to recover from…

A Thought For 2018: Live With The Choices You Make

I recently had a deep and rather philosophical conversation with a client concerning how much we can truly exercise free will in our lives. Him, going through a difficult period in his life, preferred to believe that we have limited free will and most things that happen to us were predetermined in some shape or…

Depression In The Workplace: Is Your Employer Stepping Up To The Plate?

Sometimes, I am asked by corporate clients to help new managers with the challenges of their new job. Usually, just the basic management tasks can be overwhelming without the added problem of dealing with people and especially ‘difficult’ people. There are many definitions of the word ‘difficult’ from the employee who constantly resists change to…

Positive Discipline: Giving Your Child A Sense Of Autonomy

As children grow older, they like to explore and push boundaries. What they are looking for is a sense of autonomy and self-confidence, an important cog in the wheel of development. The way parents handle this is crucial for the child’s development. When children are not allowed to explore in a child proof home or are punished and…