Tag: couples therapy

With Narcissists, Action Always Speaks Louder Than Words

When we start a new relationship, we let a few things go that we might not later. We don’t always set boundaries or recognise so-called ‘red flags’. The adrenaline is just running too high and that is just the way we want it. We want to enjoy this new feeling before routine sets in and…

Codependency? Control Not Love

These days we throw the words “narcissist” and “codependent” around like confetti. It is easy to label someone who appears self-centred as the former and one who gives a little bit too much as the latter. Despite the fact that we can easily recognise these traits in people, it is always dangerous to label people…

Dealing With Life’s Small (And Not So Small) Setbacks

Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat.  It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only  by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing. Failure (or the perception of failure) is something we all must come to terms with. Businesses and relationships…

Decision Making? A Reflection Of Your Self Esteem

Every day, we are faced with a decision to make. Sometimes, they are small and sometimes, they are decisions of great magnitude. However, many people have trouble coming to a conclusion whatever the size of the task. They usually fall into the following categories of dysfunction that will guarantee that nothing will get decided. Which…

Partners And Spouses Can Truly Help The Therapeutic Process

Let’s face it, therapy is hard work. Undertaking the process means facing things that have been sometimes locked away for years. Once you open that door, you are never sure who or what will come through it. One thing is for sure, therapy is not some Harry Potter type magic that can wipe away issues…

Being An Online Therapy Client

Many people reading this will have heard of online therapy but might find it hard to imagine how it works. What better than to hear from someone who has been there and done that. Here one of my former patients shares her experiences of life in online therapy. I was a reluctant client at first…

The Inner Rebel: The Basis Of Addiction And Instant Gratification

I have written many times about the inner critic and the devastating effect he/she can have on the way we see the world. It consolidates rigid thinking that leaves us afraid to take risks, face normal challenges and move forward from situations that are dysfunctional. It fills us with fear and dread in its irrational…

Working With Your Inner Critic

There are a range of books that tell us how to deal with our family of inner critics. Most centre on mantras and progressively aggressive language to deal with them. While this can be useful, we have to remember that by isolating the critic and pushing it away, we are maybe losing an ideal opportunity…

When Negative Thinking Is Perfectly Justified

Can you imagine a therapist telling a patient to think negatively ? To concentrate on the less positive aspects of the issues they are having ? Sounds crazy and not too healthy but there are times when this kind of thinking can certainly be justified. Name any self-help book found on the shelves of any…

Identify The Rebel And The Critic And Release The Champion

When I sometimes take the time to analyse my patients at any given point, there are always many codependents among them. This might be because I have had my own issues with this and like to work with them or it might just be an indication of the size of the issue. Contrary to people…