Tag: consequences of child abuse

A Reflection On Online Therapy…10 years After

I have now being practicing online for about 10 years. From the early attempts using Skype and low internet bandwidth, I have moved to fibre optic internet and encrypted video systems.  Of course, this level of technology is an essential part of what I do and without it, nothing works. However, there is a lot…

The Inner Rebel: The Basis Of Addiction And Instant Gratification

I have written many times about the inner critic and the devastating effect he/she can have on the way we see the world. It consolidates rigid thinking that leaves us afraid to take risks, face normal challenges and move forward from situations that are dysfunctional. It fills us with fear and dread in its irrational…

Working With Your Inner Critic

There are a range of books that tell us how to deal with our family of inner critics. Most centre on mantras and progressively aggressive language to deal with them. While this can be useful, we have to remember that by isolating the critic and pushing it away, we are maybe losing an ideal opportunity…

When Negative Thinking Is Perfectly Justified

Can you imagine a therapist telling a patient to think negatively ? To concentrate on the less positive aspects of the issues they are having ? Sounds crazy and not too healthy but there are times when this kind of thinking can certainly be justified. Name any self-help book found on the shelves of any…

Identify The Rebel And The Critic And Release The Champion

When I sometimes take the time to analyse my patients at any given point, there are always many codependents among them. This might be because I have had my own issues with this and like to work with them or it might just be an indication of the size of the issue. Contrary to people…

How Listening Skills Make The Difference

As a therapist, I do a lot of couples therapy. That means I deal frequently with warring, dysfunctional relationships in most cases. Most people enter couples therapy as a last resort to save their marriage or relationship. Some expect me to tell them what to do. Others are surprised when I tell them it is…

Therapy For Codependency: Get Help From Your Internal Family

When I sometimes take the time to analyse my patients at any given point, there are always many codependents among them. This might be because I have had my own issues with this and like to work with them or it might just be an indication of the size of the issue. Contrary to people…

Why We Say “I Love You” And Its True Meaning

I love you… Just words, often misused, often overstated, often said without conviction but when these three little words are missing, it can have a devastating effect on a couple and their relationship. How easy it is to take for granted that your partner somehow knows that you love them without you actually saying it,…

The 4 Pillars Of Relationship Success

There are many theories, models and assumptions around that pontificate on what keeps two people together over the long-term. You can find books and posts that cover all aspects of this subject and more. Many of them offer up good advice on keeping it fresh or avoiding the pitfalls of a stale relationship. Advice badly…

6 Ways To Get Over A Bad Break Up…. 1 to 3

Anyone who has been through a break-up will testify to the feelings that surround it. Let’s face it, no-one likes being left and in reality, also ending a relationship is not easy. Invariably, we all generally get it wrong. Whether you ended the relationship or were on the receiving end, feelings can run high and…