Tag: consequences of child abuse

The Basis Of The Inner Critic

Depression teaches us that we are not deserving of a normal, fruitful life. We go through long periods of believing that there is something inherently wrong with us. One of the major factors in this process is the formation of an inner critic which is a major underlying cause of depression and low self-esteem.  The…

The Boundaries In Therapy Need To be Maintained.

Just where are the boundaries between therapist and client? What can you expect your therapist to divulge about himself and his view on the world? This is often one of the confusing aspects of therapy for many clients. Irvin Yalom has been an advocate of having a less rigid approach to therapy in certain cases, though…

With Narcissists, Action Always Speaks Louder Than Words

When we start a new relationship, we let a few things go that we might not later. We don’t always set boundaries or recognise so-called ‘red flags’. The adrenaline is just running too high and that is just the way we want it. We want to enjoy this new feeling before routine sets in and…

Codependency? Control Not Love

These days we throw the words “narcissist” and “codependent” around like confetti. It is easy to label someone who appears self-centred as the former and one who gives a little bit too much as the latter. Despite the fact that we can easily recognise these traits in people, it is always dangerous to label people…

Stay Or Go: Its A Choice And Every Choice Has A Consequence

There will be many people who have started the year with the thought that they need to change their relationship status from attached to unattached. Those same people might also have had that thought last year and the year before and maybe even the year before that. The daily grind of ineffective communication, sweating the…

Dealing With Life’s Small (And Not So Small) Setbacks

Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat.  It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only  by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing. Failure (or the perception of failure) is something we all must come to terms with. Businesses and relationships…

Decision Making? A Reflection Of Your Self Esteem

Every day, we are faced with a decision to make. Sometimes, they are small and sometimes, they are decisions of great magnitude. However, many people have trouble coming to a conclusion whatever the size of the task. They usually fall into the following categories of dysfunction that will guarantee that nothing will get decided. Which…

Depression In The Workplace: Is Your Employer Stepping Up To The Plate?

Sometimes, I am asked by corporate clients to help new managers with the challenges of their new job. Usually, just the basic management tasks can be overwhelming without the added problem of dealing with people and especially ‘difficult’ people. There are many definitions of the word ‘difficult’ from the employee who constantly resists change to…

Partners And Spouses Can Truly Help The Therapeutic Process

Let’s face it, therapy is hard work. Undertaking the process means facing things that have been sometimes locked away for years. Once you open that door, you are never sure who or what will come through it. One thing is for sure, therapy is not some Harry Potter type magic that can wipe away issues…

Being An Online Therapy Client

Many people reading this will have heard of online therapy but might find it hard to imagine how it works. What better than to hear from someone who has been there and done that. Here one of my former patients shares her experiences of life in online therapy. I was a reluctant client at first…