Tag: consequences of child abuse

Re-parenting your Inner Child

We have seen clearly in my previous set of posts how an inner critic is formed from the defence mechanisms used by the wounded, criticised child and how these can be taken forward into adulthood. Part of the process of dealing with the inner critic and the chaos it causes is to re-parent our inner…

Positive Discipline : The importance of autonomy for children

As children grow older, they like to explore and push boundaries. What they are looking for is a sense of autonomy and self-confidence, an important cog in the wheel of development. The way parents handle this is crucial for the child’s development.When children are not allowed to explore in a child proof home or are punished…

Punishment is not Discipline (Part 2) Considerations

When my daughter who is now 30 started crawling, we attended as a couple some parenting classes. This was supplemented by visits from the seminar leader to consolidate the theory in practice. We thought at the time..why not? We are young, this is our first child and we thought we could surely learn something. As…

Punishment is not Discipline (Part 1)

The first weeks of a baby’s life can be gruelling and tiring for the new parents. Some parents can be completely overwhelmed with this new life that is suddenly thrust upon them. During these early phases, mistakes can be made that can have an effect in the years to come.  Experts often cite the first…

Narcissist Abuse: Being Hooked By The Illusion

As humans, we have a never-ending ability to see the good in others. We forgive, we forget, we give the benefit of the doubt. Admirable as these qualities are, it might sometimes leave us with a lack of objectivity. The objectivity we need to make decisions. In the case of relationships, we can react appropriately…

Working hard on core beliefs….

My clients have been doing some serious work lately….leading to a few AHA moments. There have been some exciting times in my practice in the last few weeks. The message to come from this is hard work brings results. When I mean hard work, I am not talking about working physically or staying in the…

The Value Of Assignments In Therapy Cannot Be Understated

One of my clients said to me the other day that she had seen many therapists but no-one like me. While I was still trying to work out whether this was a compliment or not, she clarified this by saying that she has had more contact with me in three months than with others in…

Codependency Stories Day 4: Day 1 Revisited

Today, we revisit our situation in day 1. A is still struggling after a major conflict with B. Things have settled but A’s thoughts are not in the right place. She is fighting codependent tendencies while B has moved on confident that the matter has been resolved. Without discussion, she is living and coping with…

Increasing Your Self Worth, Step 1: Know How The Mind Works

In your lifetime, irrespective of advances in technology, you will probably not come across a more capable computer than the one you have in your head, your mind. Its capabilities are endless and mostly unknown to us. It has been said that we probably use about 10 percent of its given potential and if we…

The 7 Day Challenge Day 6: Test Your Commitment

If you have been following the 7 Day Challenge, you might well now have reached the point where you have identified an issue, tested your resistance, looked at possible solutions and looked at your thinking around this and tried to beat your demons. Today, I am asking you to commit to changing that issue before…