Tag: communication skills

Having Trouble With Conflict Management And Resolution; Set Rules

Many good relationships can be tarnished by conflict. Conflict is truly inevitable when two people come together and the ability to manage it and find solutions will go a long way to predicting how long they might stay together. In fact, many observers will suggest that it is probably the most important aspect of a…

Codependency Stories Day 10: Day 1 Revisited

Today, we revisit the exploits of A and B who were the focus of Diary Week 1. After a few weeks of harmony, yet another fight happened which led to A giving B the silent treatment for three days. Even though this was hard for B, she waited out the time after a period of…

Conflict: Problem Solving Rather Than Accusation

When problems arise in a relationship, couples are often told they need to “communicate” – or talk to each other. If a couple is in crisis, my feeling is that they need to talk more and not less. However, even those who do this often do not know how to talk about problems effectively and…

Emotional Honesty: What It Is And Why It Is Important

Most people are emotionally dishonest for various reasons. A bold statement, maybe but in my experience it is a true statement. Look at this quote: “Most of us feel that others will not tolerate emotional honesty. We would rather defend our dishonesty on the grounds that it might hurt others; and having rationalised our phoniness into…

How Listening Skills Make The Difference

As a therapist, I do a lot of couples therapy. That means I deal frequently with warring, dysfunctional relationships in most cases. Most people enter couples therapy as a last resort to save their marriage or relationship. Some expect me to tell them what to do. Others are surprised when I tell them it is…

Facing Those Difficult Tasks…

We all do it. We convince ourselves that filing our tax return or planning that career move can wait until tomorrow or next week or next month. We bury our heads in the sand waiting for the right time, knowing that the right time is usually right now. We beat ourselves up because of it knowing that the…