Tag: Codependents

Codependency: The Black And White Quest For Lost Connection.

Imagine deciding to walk from one town to another while carrying a two hundred pound weight? Then, when you finally shed the weight, someone comes along with something even heavier or more difficult to carry or you give up completely and decide to go home? You would be left with a choice where neither scenario…

A New Year. New Codependency Issues

I read an article recently about happiness written by a journalist who works for the Times in London. He was commenting about a book he was reading, given to him at Christmas, about how to find happiness in 2019. The title doesn’t really matter, as there are many such books on the market and as…

O Come All Ye Faithful. How The Holiday Season Brings Mixed Fortunes For Codependents

The holiday season is the one time of year when everyone is expected to be happy, joyful and get on with everyone, even people that we have very little to do with. It is a season where hopes are high and everybody makes an extra effort to make it nice. Old disputes are forgotten for…

Codependency: One Thought From Relapse

When you recognise and become aware that you are indeed a codependent, the hard work really starts. Even codependents who have a good handle on their triggers and situations that could cause a relapse have to fight hard to keep them in check. As one of my recovering patients said quite rightly “You are only…

The Drama Triangle: A Key Element Of Codependent Control.

I have often documented here how much control exists in codependent thinking. In contrast to their nemesis (someone with narcissist tendencies), codependents are generally nice people who are willing to do most anything for the object of their codependency (usually a partner, sometimes a parent or employer and often all three). However, that ‘most anything’…

Confirmatory Bias: The Killer Of Self-Esteem

It always amazes me how talented and intelligent people spend a lot of their time trying to convince themselves that they are the opposite. This is not to mention the amount of people who obsess about body issues and how they think they look and other people perceive them. In a process called confirmatory bias,…

Narcissism: Why Would You Let Anyone Treat You Like That?

As a therapist and a person who deals in reality and common sense in my own life, it is hard to see some of the decisions that other people make in the name of love and devotion. What happens to the human brain that cannot see the plainly obvious in front of them? Where intelligent,…

Codependents: It’s Ok Not To Forgive Your Toxic Parents

The headline is perhaps a confusing one to anyone who has experienced trauma and abuse in their life. The helping professions are full of practitioners who deal in the art of forgiveness.  Religious, psychological and philosophical teachings all tell us that forgiveness is essential. “You have to forgive to be able to move on”, they…

Childhood: Where Codependency All Starts

It has been said that a large part of the global population is codependent on something or somebody. That something could be work, substances, alcohol. That somebody could be a partner, parent or boss. Yes, there are many ways to be codependent and many are codependent towards more than one “object” leading to a fairly…

The Major Factors In Recovery From Codependency

IAt the heart of this process is a willingness to work on oneself and to accept that co-dependency is an issue in relationships. This means accepting responsibility for change and not passing that responsibility (or blame) onto others. It takes courage to look at and assess early life experiences and learn new skills that will help deal with early…