Tag: Codependent relationships

Codependency: How Hyper-Vigilance Turns To Victimhood In A Never-Ending Cycle

Codependents show and exhibit many common symptoms. One of these and one that I see often with clients is hyper-vigilance, not in the sense of physical threat but mostly to do with observing a partner’s behaviour for signs of change. For codependents who constantly live with insecurity, these signs could mean a lot. Many clients…

Why We Hate Ourselves… And Never Know Why

There is much hate in our world. It is seen everywhere, on the street, in the media and in our towns and cities. However, in my experience, some of the most intense hate I often see is the hate that people often turn inward towards themselves. It is the most intense hate one could imagine…

Why Codependents Are Sometimes Resistant To Therapy

It is wrong to assume that if codependency is identified as an issue, the person concerned is codependent with everyone in his or her life. There is usually only one or a number of people (or thing, e.g work, substances) but the typical behaviour associated with codependents does not necessarily get projected on everybody. The…

Breaking The Bond Between Narcissist And Codependent

Among my patient group (and circle of friends), there are people who continually allow others to take advantage of them, continue to give and stay in very toxic relationships. They attempt to make themselves indispensable for their partners (and everyone else) and become the local and family martyr. They are the codependents who keep on…

Codependents: Your Narcissist Partner Is A Symptom, Not The Cause

Many codependents that I deal with like to talk about narcissism because it generally plays a big role in their lives. As people who will generally attract the odious, they generally have had to cope with the worst excesses of this type of behaviour. Many stay in relationships with this personality type for many years…

Controlling Codependency: Keeping Others In Line

Narcissists always get a bad press and probably rightly so. (At this point, we should note that we should only use the term narcissist when someone has been officially diagnosed with NPD. Also, there are degrees of narcissism). The common belief is that they are void of compassion and empathy and are not capable of…

After A Narcissist..What Next?

So, you have done the hard part. The narcissist is thankfully gone. It matters little whether discard happened or the courage was finally found to get rid of them, the important thing is that they are gone. So what next? How do you move on from being emotionally, physical and probably financially drained and abused?…

Why Codependents Often Think Narcissist Abuse Is Because Of Them

Sometimes the hardest task for a therapist is to convince a codependent that they have actually been abused by their narcissist (ex) partner. Look at some of the statements I have heard: “If I had not been so needy, maybe it would have worked” “It must have been me. All other relationships I had were…

Codependents: Beware The Two-Faced Monster

There is an old native American legend concerning the “Two-Faced Monster”. Here it is: Two-Face is a malevolent humanoid monster of the Plains Indian tribes. In some tribes Two-Faces are described as ogres, but most often the Two-Face resembles a human except for having a second face on the back side of his or her…