Tag: child abuse survivors

Masochistic Codependency: Identifying As A Perpetual Victim

Originally posted on Codependency Is Not Love With Dr. Nicholas Jenner:
I doubt you will find the term “masochistic codependency” anywhere. It has, though, come to the fore in my mind many times when treating full-blown codependency. By full- blown, I mean six on a scale of one to five, five being the highest level.…

The Cost Of Appeasing The Gods That Are Our Toxic Parents

In our childhood, we have a huge problem. We idolise those who brought us into the world unconditionally. They are Gods to us and our source of supply for everything we need and wish. As children start to develop, they come to realise that the Gods who could do no wrong are just as flawed…

Increasing Your Self Worth, Step 1: Know How The Mind Works

In your lifetime, irrespective of advances in technology, you will probably not come across a more capable computer than the one you have in your head, your mind. Its capabilities are endless and mostly unknown to us. It has been said that we probably use about 10 percent of its given potential and if we…

Book Excerpt: What Are You Prepared To Do For Your Relationship?

“Being involved romantically with another human being is to use a famous quote “the best and worst of times”. We proclaim our love, often far too quickly, and make irrational decisions. We believe we can take on the world and our own world is in order. Though when it goes wrong, things swing quickly in…

Codependents: Focus on Your Self Care Before Caring For Others!

It always fascinates me when I fly anywhere and the flight personnel go through the safety checks. When they get to the oxygen mask, they always point out that you should always fit your own mask before helping anyone else. Most codependents might see this a different way but the advice is the correct one…

The 7 Day Challenge Day 6: Test Your Commitment

If you have been following the 7 Day Challenge, you might well now have reached the point where you have identified an issue, tested your resistance, looked at possible solutions and looked at your thinking around this and tried to beat your demons. Today, I am asking you to commit to changing that issue before…

When The Blind Love For My Parents Turned To Fear Then Pity: A Dilemma We All Face

The reaction to my recent article, What My Violent, Abusive, Neglectful Parents Taught Me About Being A Man HERE was extraordinary. Apart from the comments on the post itself, I had various emails and comments on other sites from people who had shared similar experiences and had moved forward. Some felt a sense of hope that…

New Podcast: Doing The Right Thing, What That Means And How To Get There!

At the beginning of therapy, it is important firstly,  to offer a manageable framework to bring the client to a realization of how they can change things around in terms of tools and concepts. A point is reached sooner or later where decisive action is needed by the client in terms of behavioral change to…