Tag: child abuse and neglect

Masochistic Codependency: Identifying As A Perpetual Victim

Originally posted on Codependency Is Not Love With Dr. Nicholas Jenner:
I doubt you will find the term “masochistic codependency” anywhere. It has, though, come to the fore in my mind many times when treating full-blown codependency. By full- blown, I mean six on a scale of one to five, five being the highest level.…

Despite Our Best Efforts To Grow Up, Our Child-like Self Never Really Leaves Us

Any parent will testify the range of emotions associated with bringing up a child. Joy, heartache, worry among others are part and parcel of the package. What parents do while bringing up their child(ren), will have a marked effect on how the child develops a sense of his/herself and how they relate to the world…

Parental Alienation: A Call For Action

In an ideal world, there would be no divorce or separation and children would grow up in healthy, happy homes with two loving parents who loved each other and them. Reality tells us that while this sometimes happens, many times it doesn’t and marriages and relationships fail. Children placed in these situations should not only…

Parental Alienation: What It Is And How Narcissists Use It To Destroy Their Ex-Partner and Children

When divorce and separation occurs and children are involved, it is generally traumatic for all concerned. One aspect of this is that two people who used to be in a relationship have to co-parent as ex-partners.  Awkward and uncomfortable as this might be, some find a way for it to work because they put the…

The Cost Of Appeasing The Gods That Are Our Toxic Parents

In our childhood, we have a huge problem. We idolise those who brought us into the world unconditionally. They are Gods to us and our source of supply for everything we need and wish. As children start to develop, they come to realise that the Gods who could do no wrong are just as flawed…

Titbits From The Week That Was

  Boundaries Continue To Be An Issue Much of my work is about discussing how to set and maintain boundaries in personal and work relationships. Many people have no issue learning to set boundaries when they see the sense in that. However, they have big issues with maintaining them and setting consequences if boundaries continue…

How A Child Can Become A Parent Before Becoming An Adult

When we think about child abuse, our thoughts often stop at sexual abuse of minors. However, the term child abuse, often replaced by child maltreatment, has a broad spectrum of definition. The WHO defines it as follows : “Child maltreatment, sometimes referred to as child abuse and neglect, includes all forms of physical and emotional ill-treatment, sexual…

Challenge Yourself To Be A Better Parent! Your Child Will Thank You For It

There is an old assumption that whatever you tell a therapist, he or she will always “blame the parents”. Most self-help and psychology works that center on conditioning and change point primarily to the time when our caregivers had the most influence over us. This is not often seen as positive and is usually cited…

How Abused Children Look Away From Their Parents For Guidance

Children who are subject to abuse of any sort often look for help outside of the family in their quest for recovery. Often abandoned emotionally and bruised physically, they cannot find solace within the family unit which was often responsible for the abuse in the first place. The following quote says much about why children…

Want A New Start? Clear Out The Dead Wood First

Change is never easy but we face it every day. For some it is a terrifying experience, for others an opportunity. We all, see it, feel it and deal with in in different ways. How we see it, feel it and deal with it will generally determine how difficult it will be. I have written…