Tag: Anger

After Narcissist Abuse: Avoiding The Gaslighting That Will Certainly Come

The time has finally come. Your friendly neighbourhood narcissist has decided to ship out and move on to his next victim. The disappointment, guilt and feelings of being abused hurt and will take some time to get over but with him gone, it will certainly get slowly easier. However, the choice whether it is the…

Stop The Rage In Your Relationship

It is a fact to be taken for granted that couples argue and conflict will be a feature in their relationship. Conflict in itself is not bad and in fact it can improve a relationship if the couple concerned can learn from it. Arguing constructively is the ideal method to use conflict to better a…

Inner Child Therapy: Countering the Inner Critical Voice

When I practice Inner Child Therapy with clients, we invariably meet the Inner Critic at some stage. This can often be identified because of the “should” statements that are associated with its advice. When I look at my client base, I notice that I have a range of different personalities, issues and outlooks on life…

The Drama Triangle: A Key Element Of Codependent Control.

I have often documented here how much control exists in codependent thinking. In contrast to their nemesis (someone with narcissist tendencies), codependents are generally nice people who are willing to do most anything for the object of their codependency (usually a partner, sometimes a parent or employer and often all three). However, that ‘most anything’…

Increase Your Self-Esteem in 10 Days. Day 1: Giving Up Judgment

I am offering you the chance to change. Follow a series of posts and increase your self-worth and esteem. Low self-esteem is like a weight around your neck and stops you moving forward but it is not your story. It is the result of believing false stories and having a “I am bad” mental filter.…

Codependency: How To Give Up Control And Stop Rescuing Everyone

Codependency is a lot about control and controlling others. I have documented various methods frequently on this blog and how they manifest themselves into the typical dysfunctional behaviour associated with codependency. Codependents need control to feel secure and are loath to give this power away. One of the more common forms of control employed by…

Codependents: It’s Ok Not To Forgive Your Toxic Parents

The headline is perhaps a confusing one to anyone who has experienced trauma and abuse in their life. The helping professions are full of practitioners who deal in the art of forgiveness.  Religious, psychological and philosophical teachings all tell us that forgiveness is essential. “You have to forgive to be able to move on”, they…

Childhood: Where Codependency All Starts

It has been said that a large part of the global population is codependent on something or somebody. That something could be work, substances, alcohol. That somebody could be a partner, parent or boss. Yes, there are many ways to be codependent and many are codependent towards more than one “object” leading to a fairly…

The Cost Of Appeasing The Gods That Are Our Toxic Parents

In our childhood, we have a huge problem. We idolise those who brought us into the world unconditionally. They are Gods to us and our source of supply for everything we need and wish. As children start to develop, they come to realise that the Gods who could do no wrong are just as flawed…