Tag: Action

Dealing With Internal Conflict: A Case Study Part 2: Leadership And Action

What is the point of therapy unless there is a clear measurable goal? A question I have often asked myself and one that I am sure many people who seek therapy ask themselves too. There are many therapeutic approaches that are non-directional, that is the aim is not to direct proceedings but to facilitate change…

Is This Your Relationship? If So, You Need To Change It Or Leave!

A good marriage with someone we truly love is generally the fairytale that is sold to us by society, sometimes parents and definitely religion. We are all expected to go on to develop along a certain tried and trusted path which includes marriage. Many are totally unprepared (especially if they marry young) for the immense…

In 2019, The Choices You Consciously Make Will Be The Difference

I recently had a deep and rather philosophical conversation with a client concerning how much we can truly exercise free will in our lives. Him, going through a difficult period in his life, preferred to believe that we have limited free will and most things that happen to us were predetermined in some shape or…

O Come All Ye Faithful. How The Holiday Season Brings Mixed Fortunes For Codependents

The holiday season is the one time of year when everyone is expected to be happy, joyful and get on with everyone, even people that we have very little to do with. It is a season where hopes are high and everybody makes an extra effort to make it nice. Old disputes are forgotten for…

Perfection Doesn’t Exist But We Still Try Hard To Prove That Theory Wrong.

Samuel McChord Crothers once wrote ” try as hard as we may for perfection, the net result of our labors is an amazing variety of imperfectness. We are surprised at our own versatility in being able to fail in so many different ways.” Do you feel like what you accomplish is never quite good enough? Do you often put things…

Masochistic Codependency: Identifying As A Perpetual Victim

Originally posted on Codependency Is Not Love With Dr. Nicholas Jenner:
I doubt you will find the term “masochistic codependency” anywhere. It has, though, come to the fore in my mind many times when treating full-blown codependency. By full- blown, I mean six on a scale of one to five, five being the highest level.…

Codependency: One Thought From Relapse

When you recognise and become aware that you are indeed a codependent, the hard work really starts. Even codependents who have a good handle on their triggers and situations that could cause a relapse have to fight hard to keep them in check. As one of my recovering patients said quite rightly “You are only…

Silent Treatment: A Nemesis For Codependency And Generally Indefensible

Yesterday, I read an article by a “life coach” who said that silent treatment was justified mostly because your partner “probably deserved it”. I read on hoping that the article would clarify this by looking at “time-outs” and drawing a clear distinction or that she might be referring to “no-contact”, a clear strategy when dealing…

The Health Of Your Relationship Can Be Judged By The Way You Fight

“Lets not forget it’s you and me vs. problem. Not you vs. me” -Unknown If you have been in a relationship that has lasted longer than a few months, you will know that conflict and argument are going to be a part of it. It is just that way. Two separate individuals with different viewpoints…

Don’t Confuse Codependency With Love

These days we throw the words “narcissist” and “codependent” around like confetti. It is easy to label someone who appears self-centered as the former and one who gives a little bit too much as the latter. Despite the fact that we can easily recognise these traits in people, it is always dangerous to label people…