Tag: Abuse

Despite Our Best Efforts To Grow Up, Our Child-like Self Never Really Leaves Us

Any parent will testify the range of emotions associated with bringing up a child. Joy, heartache, worry among others are part and parcel of the package. What parents do while bringing up their child(ren), will have a marked effect on how the child develops a sense of his/herself and how they relate to the world…

Codependency: Why Red Flags Give Us All The Information We Need

“The red flags are usually there, you just have to keep your eyes open wider than your heart.” ― April Mae Monterrosa In my daily work with codependents, I hear a lot about so-called “red-flags”. Usually this comes when clients are describing the early stages of a relationship they were or are in. If they are describing…

Podcast: Moving On After A Break-Up

Have you just broken up? Feeling bad… Not knowing where to go or what to do? Listen to the new podcast around Dr. Nicholas Jenner’s book “Our Quest For Happily Ever After & Why It sometimes does Not Work’. We discuss a section taken from the third chapter of the book called: “Taking The First Steps…

Life After Narcissism: Further Toxic Or Nourishing? It Is Your Choice!

What next when your worst nightmare is over? Many codependents who manage to extract themselves from toxic or narcissistic relationships are often left with this question. Initially, the big danger is that they end up in another toxic relationship similar to the last. This is the only type of relationship they know and they gravitate…

Parental Alienation: What It Is And How Narcissists Use It To Destroy Their Ex-Partner and Children

When divorce and separation occurs and children are involved, it is generally traumatic for all concerned. One aspect of this is that two people who used to be in a relationship have to co-parent as ex-partners.  Awkward and uncomfortable as this might be, some find a way for it to work because they put the…

Don’t Allow A Narcissist To Use Your Child To Destroy You

It takes a lot to remove a narcissist from your life. Not only the fact that he is not all that willing for you to make that call but also the actions and thoughts of the people involved with them often make it difficult. Especially codependents hang around until the bitter end (or longer) hoping…

Narcissism: Why Would You Let Anyone Treat You Like That?

As a therapist and a person who deals in reality and common sense in my own life, it is hard to see some of the decisions that other people make in the name of love and devotion. What happens to the human brain that cannot see the plainly obvious in front of them? Where intelligent,…

The Cost Of Appeasing The Gods That Are Our Toxic Parents

In our childhood, we have a huge problem. We idolise those who brought us into the world unconditionally. They are Gods to us and our source of supply for everything we need and wish. As children start to develop, they come to realise that the Gods who could do no wrong are just as flawed…

Is Our Path In Life Defined By Abuse?

One of the enduring questions of human development and behaviour is why we take the paths that we do. What influences us in our choice of partner, profession, lifestyle and other things that make us who we are? This is a deep and complicated question even if a “good enough” upbringing has been experienced but…

Watch The Narcissist Who Flies Under The Radar

The typical image of a narcissist is one who sucks the air out of a room. He or she is the center of attention and demands center stage. This is the way that they boost their self-esteem void by making themselves seem far superior to all around them and they truly believe that everyone is…