Tag: Abuse

Codependency: ‘I Know It Logically But Emotionally, I Don’t Get It’!

Many codependents I work with are stuck in relationships that are abusive, unfulfilling and going nowhere. The sad thing is that they are also going nowhere and stay when they know they should logically leave. Somehow they cannot muster the courage to do it. I have been offering online therapy for over 10 years. During…

Narcissists Are Abusers But Codependents Choose To Stay (Until They Don’t)

Can you imagine being locked away with another person for a number of years, isolated from the outside world and seemingly helpless to escape? In the above example, a narcissist would be telling the codependent they are safe with them while trying to find an escape route for themselves! A codependent would be enabling the…

Dealing With Internal Conflict: A Case Study Part 2: Leadership And Action

What is the point of therapy unless there is a clear measurable goal? A question I have often asked myself and one that I am sure many people who seek therapy ask themselves too. There are many therapeutic approaches that are non-directional, that is the aim is not to direct proceedings but to facilitate change…

Relationships: Counter-dependence Or Interdependence?

In my last post, I wrote about the characteristics of counter-dependency and how this is defined by projection of a “strong” personality that hides the fear of true intimacy and commitment. Many people who identify as counter-dependent see themselves as exhibiting healthy autonomy and this is often the impression they give to others. However, there…

How Codependency Can Make You Sick

I believe firmly that it is only a matter of time before codependency becomes a recognised disorder. As discussed many times by this author, I have been challenged on occasions to prove that codependency truly exists and is not just a symptom of another disorder. The many clients I have who show similar debilitating symptoms…

Narcissism: How Devaluing Destroys Their Codependent Victims

If you had the chance to study the way a narcissist behaves in a relationship, you might recognise a distinct pattern. A three stage whirlwind of a relationship that will leave a victim emotionally, physically and maybe also financially destroyed. The first stage, adulation, I dealt with in my last post. The second phase begins…

Despite Our Best Efforts To Grow Up, Our Child-like Self Never Really Leaves Us

Any parent will testify the range of emotions associated with bringing up a child. Joy, heartache, worry among others are part and parcel of the package. What parents do while bringing up their child(ren), will have a marked effect on how the child develops a sense of his/herself and how they relate to the world…

Codependency: Why Red Flags Give Us All The Information We Need

“The red flags are usually there, you just have to keep your eyes open wider than your heart.” ― April Mae Monterrosa In my daily work with codependents, I hear a lot about so-called “red-flags”. Usually this comes when clients are describing the early stages of a relationship they were or are in. If they are describing…

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