Tag: abuse victims

How Our Childhood Never Really Leaves Us..Until It Does

There is an old saying that goes “One day in your life, you will look in the mirror and see your parent looking back at you”. Many of us carry features of our parents personality and behaviour in the way we look at the world, which is of course, natural. They did produce us and…

Codependency Stories Day 13: Trauma Bonding With A Narcissist

Today we meet J who is in an abusive relationship with S. In therapy, she has documented evidence of frequent physical, emotional and verbal abuse. She has lost all her self-confidence that she claimed to have had before and spends most of her time wondering why she is in the kind of relationship she is…

Codependency: Why Red Flags Give Us All The Information We Need

“The red flags are usually there, you just have to keep your eyes open wider than your heart.” ― April Mae Monterrosa In my daily work with codependents, I hear a lot about so-called “red-flags”. Usually this comes when clients are describing the early stages of a relationship they were or are in. If they are…

Narcissism: Why Would You Let Anyone Treat You Like That?

As a therapist and a person who deals in reality and common sense in my own life, it is hard to see some of the decisions that other people make in the name of love and devotion. What happens to the human brain that cannot see the plainly obvious in front of them? Where intelligent,…

Should You Bother Trying To Set Boundaries With A Narcissist?

I talk a lot about boundaries. I believe they are the foundation of a healthy relationship. Setting boundaries means being emotionally honest, assertive and it means protect your emotional and physical space. Boundaries maintained and with appropriate consequences teach people in a healthy way how you want to be treated. In therapy, especially with codependents,…

Have a Strategy For Online Dating

Online dating has been the preferred method of finding a partner for many people for many years. A lot of people have had success and many will testify to the effectiveness and ease of using this method. The industry gets bigger all the time and more and more people are signing up. They pay for…

The role of False Memory in Abuse Denial

When a child is sexually abused, it is done within the context of a manipulation of love and trust. For an abuser to achieve his or her goal of sexual gratification, the victim is persuaded to look on the act as “normal” interaction. Even worse, they are then sworn to silence through threats of violence or…