Tag: abuse victims

Codependency Stories Day 13: Trauma Bonding With A Narcissist

Today we meet J who is in an abusive relationship with S. In therapy, she has documented evidence of frequent physical, emotional and verbal abuse. She has lost all her self-confidence that she claimed to have had before and spends most of her time wondering why she is in the kind of relationship she is…

After Narcissist Abuse: Avoiding The Gaslighting That Will Certainly Come

The time has finally come. Your friendly neighbourhood narcissist has decided to ship out and move on to his next victim. The disappointment, guilt and feelings of being abused hurt and will take some time to get over but with him gone, it will certainly get slowly easier. However, the choice whether it is the…

Codependency: Why No Contact After Narcissist Abuse Is Essential But It’s Not As Simple As It Sounds

It is common advice when recovering from narcissist abuse to go “no-contact” or more simply put, cut the person completely out of your life and block any possibility they have to get back in touch. There are many websites proclaiming “no-contact” as the main weapon against the temptation to get back with an abusive ex.…

Codependency: Why Red Flags Give Us All The Information We Need

“The red flags are usually there, you just have to keep your eyes open wider than your heart.” ― April Mae Monterrosa In my daily work with codependents, I hear a lot about so-called “red-flags”. Usually this comes when clients are describing the early stages of a relationship they were or are in. If they are describing…

Should You Bother Trying To Set Boundaries With A Narcissist?

I talk a lot about boundaries. I believe they are the foundation of a healthy relationship. Setting boundaries means being emotionally honest, assertive and it means protect your emotional and physical space. Boundaries maintained and with appropriate consequences teach people in a healthy way how you want to be treated. In therapy, especially with codependents,…

Domestic Violence: A Curse in Homes. Know the Signs.

The following statistics are startling: Every 9 seconds in the US a woman is assaulted or beaten. Around the world, at least one in every three women has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused during her lifetime. Most often, the abuser is a member of her own family. Domestic violence is the leading…

Our Happiness Is Determined By The Choices WE Make!

I always remember the quote ” Life is about the choices you make. If you want a better life, make different choices”.  This very true quote is often lost on people who blame their circumstances, upbringing or insecurity for not making a decision that could change their lives. This comes to mind when I see the…

False Memory Syndrome Wickedly Being Used As a Defense in Abuse Cases.

When a child is sexually abused, it is done within the context of a manipulation of love and trust. For an abuser to achieve his or her goal of sexual gratification, the victim is persuaded to look on the act as “normal” interaction. Even worse, they are then sworn to silence through threats of violence or…

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