Those “Aha” Moments Don’t Happen Without Chemistry

As a therapist, I am always happy when one of my clients has a “aha” moment. This is that very moment when everything comes together and you just know, it is going to initiate some form of positive change in the client’s disposition. I may have realised it was going to happen some time before…

PTSD: The Dramatic Effects

Post traumatic stress disorder or PTSD is one of the most misunderstood and misdiagnosed psychological conditions that exist. Often disregarded by the medical profession, treated with suspicion by health care and sometimes not even recognized by the sufferers themselves, it justifies the title given to it by David Kinchin as the “Invisible Injury”. It is,…

Stephen Covey’s Habit 3: Beat Procrastination And Time-wasting

I have read the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People many times and taught others its principles. As Covey rightly said “you need to learn to teach and teach to learn”. The first three habits are extremely effective for anyone looking to add structure to their lives in a way that gets them out “the…

Conditioning Can Be Changed

A client who has been coming to therapy for quite some time, recently had a revelation where she finally realised that her family had conditioned her as a child to behave in a certain way. Intellectually, she always knew this but emotionally she could not accept it. She cried for the first time in years…

The Narcissist-Codependent Dance

Among my patient group (and circle of friends), there are people who continually allow others to take advantage of them, continue to give and stay in very toxic relationships. They attempt to make themselves indispensable for their partners (and everyone else) and become the local and family martyr. They are the codependents who keep on…

Dealing with Perfectionism: The killer Of Self-esteem

Many people who suffer from low self-esteem are driven by unhelpful thinking about the standards they have set themselves in order to feel good about themselves. If you are one of these people then you have a lot in common with most of the clients I see. A commonality is that they are usually bright and intelligent and have achieved relative…

Procrastination And Depression Often Go Hand in Hand

Procrastination can be defined as that invisible wall in front of you, stopping you moving on and using effective methods for beating depressive thinking. Incredibly, in 2010, the APA, in its annual Stress in America report, failed to identify procrastination as a major factor in why people do not follow through on programmes designed to beat stress and pressure.…

A Father is Important: Let’s Not Forget that!

With the divorce rate at an all time high, there are many children who are living their lives between two homes. While this can be fun for the child if handled the right way, there are many children who are left confused and feeling guilt and shame as their parents fight it out. The concept…

Recognise Your Inner Critic And How It Works

“I am really driven, but my drive doesn’t affect the conversations I have in my head about life, and my worries and fears and insecurities.” Zach Braff . The concept of an inner critic is well known but most people have to deal with more than one manifestation. There might be one that attacks you for doing…

Narcissist Abuse: Being hooked By The Illusion

As humans, we have a never-ending ability to see the good in others. We forgive, we forget, we give the benefit of the doubt. Admirable as these qualities are, it might sometimes leave us with a lack of objectivity. The objectivity we need to make decisions. In the case of relationships, we can react appropriately…