Why We Say “I Love You” And Its True Meaning

I love you… Just words, often misused, often overstated, often said without conviction but when these three little words are missing, it can have a devastating effect on a couple and their relationship. How easy it is to take for granted that your partner somehow knows that you love them without you actually saying it,…

The 4 Pillars Of Relationship Success

There are many theories, models and assumptions around that pontificate on what keeps two people together over the long-term. You can find books and posts that cover all aspects of this subject and more. Many of them offer up good advice on keeping it fresh or avoiding the pitfalls of a stale relationship. Advice badly…

6 Ways To Get Over A Bad Break Up 4 to 6

Continuing my post on moving on from a bad breakup, let`s look at steps 4 to 6: 4. Watch that Rebound! There are those people who seem to jump from one dysfunctional relationship and straight into another. There are differing opinions about rebound relationships and what role they play in recovery. It has been suggested…

6 Ways To Get Over A Bad Break Up…. 1 to 3

Anyone who has been through a break-up will testify to the feelings that surround it. Let’s face it, no-one likes being left and in reality, also ending a relationship is not easy. Invariably, we all generally get it wrong. Whether you ended the relationship or were on the receiving end, feelings can run high and…

7 Ways Your Relationship Could Be Going Wrong

Nothing is perfect and that goes for relationships too. Even in the best of intimate relationships, there are those subtle and not so subtle signs that harmony is being disrupted. Some disagreements and discussions make sense and are in fact healthy; his words against hers, her values in the face of his values, old traditions…

Is Your Ex Complicating Your New Relationship?

During couples therapy, many reasons for a lack of harmony come out. Infidelity, lack of communication skills, losing interest in the relationship amongst others, are commonly cited as troublesome for one or both people. All are very valid reasons for seeking help. However, one complicating factor that is sometimes present is the presence of an…

Remember To Thank Your Inner Critic

There are a range of books that tell us how to deal with our family of inner critics. Most centre on mantras and progressively aggressive language to deal with them. While this can be useful, we have to remember that by isolating the critic and pushing it away, we are maybe losing an ideal opportunity to work…

Communication: Direct Accusation vs Problem Identification

When problems arise in a relationship, couples are often told they need to “communicate” – or talk to each other. If a couple is in crisis, my feeling is that they need to talk more and not less. However, even those who do this often do not know how to talk about problems effectively and…

Perfectionism Is Truly Driven By Self Defeating Thoughts

Samuel McChord Crothers once wrote ” try as hard as we may for perfection, the net result of our labors is an amazing variety of imperfectness. We are surprised at our own versatility in being able to fail in so many different ways.” Do you feel like what you accomplish is never quite good enough?…