One of my clients said to me the other day that she had seen many therapists but no-one like me. While I was still trying to work out whether this was a compliment or not, she clarified this by saying that she has had more contact with me in three months than with others in…
There are many articles around on the internet about all types of narcissism and the dangers of being in a relationship with someone who has these tendencies. The advice is clear : get away from the situation as quickly as possible. Anyone who is more on the codependent side of the continuum will testify that…
Life is such that we never get all that we want and this is probably just as well. When we taste some amount of success, we are usually rightly elated for a short time. However, part of this is that we have also to get used to loss when things go against us. Whether it…
There is an old saying that goes “One day in your life, you will look in the mirror and see your parent looking back at you”. Many of us carry features of our parents personality and behaviour in the way we look at the world, which is of course, natural. They did produce us and…
We are all stuck at some stage of our lives and nobody is immune. We get stuck in jobs, relationships and other personal and family matters. When this happens, we cannot meet our needs, make decisions and we “spin our wheels”, thinking about what to do. Even when people around advise us to look at…
There is an old native American legend concerning the “Two-Faced Monster”. Here it is: Two-Face is a malevolent humanoid monster of the Plains Indian tribes. In some tribes Two-Faces are described as ogres, but most often the Two-Face resembles a human except for having a second face on the back side of his or her…
We all have to face change. Whether it is forced on us by such things as a relationship break-up or illness or if, more positively we decide to make that change by choice, change is never easy and will often need time for adjustment. We actually face change more often than we think but the…
Any break-up is a shock to the system, coupled with self doubt, regret and the normal process of analysis that follows. Unless you are a person devoid of emotion, it is a truly nerve-wracking experience to end a relationship or to be on the receiving end. Tough as this time is, there are things that…
The ideal woman for many men comes straight out of a codependent checklist. Many women are taught from an early age that they have to be a certain “way” around men. I have often dealt with women who are involved with abusive, emotionally distant men and cannot see that this is not functional for them.…
I have just finished writing a series of codependency stories where I documented various aspects of situations people found themselves in and how different aspects of their character defined how they saw the situation and ultimately how they behaved. Many showed extreme reactions to the environment around them and some were working on assumptions. I…