Category: STRESS MANAGEMENT

Narcissism: How Devaluing Destroys Their Codependent Victims

If you had the chance to study the way a narcissist behaves in a relationship, you might recognise a distinct pattern. A three stage whirlwind of a relationship that will leave a victim emotionally, physically and maybe also financially destroyed. The first stage, adulation, I dealt with in my last post. The second phase begins…

Codependency: Breaking The Fantasy Of The Adulation Stage

The power a narcissist has over his victim is all encompassing in the adulation stage and the “hooks” created can make even the most intelligent, rational person doubt their own sanity. It is the kind of brainwashing power that when transported onto a larger stage powers dictatorships, sects and ideologies like the Nazi party and…

What We Can Learn From Not Succeeding And Why We Shouldn’t Fear Failure.

Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.

Look To Neglectful Parenting For Codependency Issues.

We can all imagine the effects on children if they are abused or have to deal with addicted parents. It guarantees that the subsequent adult will experience a tough time. There are many people who have had to struggle through life due to the irresponsibility of the people who decided to bring them into the…

A New Year. New Codependency Issues

I read an article recently about happiness written by a journalist who works for the Times in London. He was commenting about a book he was reading, given to him at Christmas, about how to find happiness in 2019. The title doesn’t really matter, as there are many such books on the market and as…

Is This Your Relationship? If So, You Need To Change It Or Leave!

A good marriage with someone we truly love is generally the fairytale that is sold to us by society, sometimes parents and definitely religion. We are all expected to go on to develop along a certain tried and trusted path which includes marriage. Many are totally unprepared (especially if they marry young) for the immense…

Let’s Recognise Codependency For What It Is

At the time of writing, the term “codependency” cannot be found in any diagnostic manual anywhere. It is simply not classed as a recognisable disorder and as discussed earlier, some doubt it even exists in the form we accept today. This also includes many therapists who like to see it as a symptom of something…

Top Post Of 2018: Reparenting Your Inner Child

We know how an inner critic is formed from the defence mechanisms used by the wounded, criticised child and how these can be taken forward into adulthood. Part of the process of dealing with the inner critic and the chaos it causes is to re-parent our inner child, showing it that it no-longer needs those mechanisms…

In 2019, The Choices You Consciously Make Will Be The Difference

I recently had a deep and rather philosophical conversation with a client concerning how much we can truly exercise free will in our lives. Him, going through a difficult period in his life, preferred to believe that we have limited free will and most things that happen to us were predetermined in some shape or…

Perfection Doesn’t Exist But We Still Try Hard To Prove That Theory Wrong.

Samuel McChord Crothers once wrote ” try as hard as we may for perfection, the net result of our labors is an amazing variety of imperfectness. We are surprised at our own versatility in being able to fail in so many different ways.” Do you feel like what you accomplish is never quite good enough? Do you often put things…