Category: RELATIONSHIPS

Relationship Success? Luckily For Me, I Have One That Works But It Doesn’t Come Easily.

About this time of year, most people are reflecting on things that took place over the last year. You will find thousands of articles of this kind and even more as people start to think about New Year resolutions. Even people who do not write often will feel compelled to give their thoughts. Many will…

Perfection Doesn’t Exist But We Still Try Hard To Prove That Theory Wrong.

Samuel McChord Crothers once wrote ” try as hard as we may for perfection, the net result of our labors is an amazing variety of imperfectness. We are surprised at our own versatility in being able to fail in so many different ways.” Do you feel like what you accomplish is never quite good enough? Do you often put things…

Masochistic Codependency: Identifying As A Perpetual Victim

Originally posted on Codependency Is Not Love With Dr. Nicholas Jenner:
I doubt you will find the term “masochistic codependency” anywhere. It has, though, come to the fore in my mind many times when treating full-blown codependency. By full- blown, I mean six on a scale of one to five, five being the highest level.…

In Defence Of The “Marriage Reboot”

When it comes to computers, it has always amazed me that the majority of issues can be solved by switching the machine off and restarting it. It is one of the mysteries of our time and one that I personally find the most effective default method of fixing anything of a technological nature. The same…

Codependency: One Thought From Relapse

When you recognise and become aware that you are indeed a codependent, the hard work really starts. Even codependents who have a good handle on their triggers and situations that could cause a relapse have to fight hard to keep them in check. As one of my recovering patients said quite rightly “You are only…

Silent Treatment: A Nemesis For Codependency And Generally Indefensible

Yesterday, I read an article by a “life coach” who said that silent treatment was justified mostly because your partner “probably deserved it”. I read on hoping that the article would clarify this by looking at “time-outs” and drawing a clear distinction or that she might be referring to “no-contact”, a clear strategy when dealing…

The Health Of Your Relationship Can Be Judged By The Way You Fight

“Lets not forget it’s you and me vs. problem. Not you vs. me” -Unknown If you have been in a relationship that has lasted longer than a few months, you will know that conflict and argument are going to be a part of it. It is just that way. Two separate individuals with different viewpoints…

Don’t Confuse Codependency With Love

These days we throw the words “narcissist” and “codependent” around like confetti. It is easy to label someone who appears self-centered as the former and one who gives a little bit too much as the latter. Despite the fact that we can easily recognise these traits in people, it is always dangerous to label people…

Inner Child Therapy: Countering the Inner Critical Voice

When I practice Inner Child Therapy with clients, we invariably meet the Inner Critic at some stage. This can often be identified because of the “should” statements that are associated with its advice. When I look at my client base, I notice that I have a range of different personalities, issues and outlooks on life…

Online Therapy for Codependency: A Testimonial

Ever since I started doing therapy online in 2011, I have dealt with many different disorders. Early on, it was a transitional phase moving from office to online but it quickly moved on. In my office based practice, I dealt with a lot of codependent clients and this has increasingly been the case since 2011.…