Category: PARENTING

Positive Discipline : The importance of autonomy for children

As children grow older, they like to explore and push boundaries. What they are looking for is a sense of autonomy and self-confidence, an important cog in the wheel of development. The way parents handle this is crucial for the child’s development.When children are not allowed to explore in a child proof home or are punished…

Punishment is not Discipline (Part 2) Considerations

When my daughter who is now 30 started crawling, we attended as a couple some parenting classes. This was supplemented by visits from the seminar leader to consolidate the theory in practice. We thought at the time..why not? We are young, this is our first child and we thought we could surely learn something. As…

Punishment is not Discipline (Part 1)

The first weeks of a baby’s life can be gruelling and tiring for the new parents. Some parents can be completely overwhelmed with this new life that is suddenly thrust upon them. During these early phases, mistakes can be made that can have an effect in the years to come.  Experts often cite the first…

Conditioning can be changed but it takes hard work and awareness.

A client who has been coming to therapy for quite some time, recently had a revelation where she finally realised that her family had conditioned her as a child to believe that she needed to behave in a certain way. Intellectually, she always knew this but emotionally she could not accept it. She had always…

The “Golden Child” Is An Abused Child…Simple

There are many articles around on the internet about all types of narcissism and the dangers of being in a relationship with someone who has these tendencies. The advice is clear : get away from the situation as quickly as possible. Anyone who is more on the codependent side of the continuum will testify that…

Why Most Codependents Are Women

The ideal woman for many men comes straight out of a codependent checklist. Many women are taught from an early age that they have to be a certain “way” around men. I have often dealt with women who are involved with abusive, emotionally distant men and cannot see that this is not functional for them.…

How Your Mind Works Put Simply

I have just finished writing a series of codependency stories where I documented various aspects of situations people found themselves in and how different aspects of their character defined how they saw the situation and ultimately how they behaved. Many showed extreme reactions to the environment around them and some were working on assumptions. I…

Codependency: The Impact Of Our Beginnings

Think about the following situations and the resulting behaviour : A text message from your partner’s former lover sends you into a spiral of rage, insecurity and self-doubt. They reassure you but you are convinced they are cheating. You want to change your job but fail to apply for a new one┬ábecause you are convinced…

Combining Two Effective Therapies To Help Codependents

Codependency is a complex issue and many therapists doubt its existence. They might agree somewhat with the classic definition of codependency where an enabling partner helps an addict maintain his addiction but the idea of codependency in relationships, the love addiction, is disputed. However, codependency in relationships is something I see and work with every…

Connecting With Your Inner Child…What It Means And How To Do It

Just recently, I have been doing a lot of inner child work with very interesting results. Touching the part of our emotional memory that has been locked away for years, can be a powerful, enlightening experience. Our inner child is the full complement of childhood feelings, needs and memories. It is very helpful to picture…