Category: Mentoring

How Codependency Can Make You Sick

I believe firmly that it is only a matter of time before codependency becomes a recognised disorder. As discussed many times by this author, I have been challenged on occasions to prove that codependency truly exists and is not just a symptom of another disorder. The many clients I have who show similar debilitating symptoms…

Combining Two Effective Therapies To Help Codependents

Codependency is a complex issue and many therapists doubt its existence. They might agree somewhat with the classic definition of codependency where an enabling partner helps an addict maintain his addiction but the idea of codependency in relationships, the love addiction, is disputed. However, codependency in relationships is something I see and work with every…

Connecting With Your Inner Child…What It Means And How To Do It

Just recently, I have been doing a lot of inner child work with very interesting results. Touching the part of our emotional memory that has been locked away for years, can be a powerful, enlightening experience. Our inner child is the full complement of childhood feelings, needs and memories. It is very helpful to picture…

Resentment: The Killer Of Relationships

In my daily work as a therapist, I deal with couples who are struggling to keep their relationship together. There are many reasons for this and some are more successful than others at working on the issues that divide them. I have found that it really does not matter what the issue is, if the…

Emotional Incest: How A Narcissist Parent Uses A “Golden Child”

There are many articles around on the internet about all types of narcissism and the dangers of being in a relationship with someone who has these tendencies. The advice is clear : get away from the situation as quickly as possible. Anyone who is more on the codependent side of the continuum will testify that…

After Narcissist Brainwashing, Breaking The Fantasy Is Essential

I am an avid watcher of the many well-produced documentaries on Netflix. They cover a wide range of topics from unsolved crimes through the working of the drugs trade. I find most fascinating the ones that deal with some form of psychological subject and how the mind works. Just recently, there has been a series…

Narcissism: How Devaluing Destroys Their Codependent Victims

If you had the chance to study the way a narcissist behaves in a relationship, you might recognise a distinct pattern. A three stage whirlwind of a relationship that will leave a victim emotionally, physically and maybe also financially destroyed. The first stage, adulation, I dealt with in my last post. The second phase begins…

Let’s Recognise Codependency For What It Is

At the time of writing, the term “codependency” cannot be found in any diagnostic manual anywhere. It is simply not classed as a recognisable disorder and as discussed earlier, some doubt it even exists in the form we accept today. This also includes many therapists who like to see it as a symptom of something…

In 2019, The Choices You Consciously Make Will Be The Difference

I recently had a deep and rather philosophical conversation with a client concerning how much we can truly exercise free will in our lives. Him, going through a difficult period in his life, preferred to believe that we have limited free will and most things that happen to us were predetermined in some shape or…

Perfection Doesn’t Exist But We Still Try Hard To Prove That Theory Wrong.

Samuel McChord Crothers once wrote ” try as hard as we may for perfection, the net result of our labors is an amazing variety of imperfectness. We are surprised at our own versatility in being able to fail in so many different ways.” Do you feel like what you accomplish is never quite good enough? Do you often put things…