Category: Mentoring

Narcissism: Why Would You Let Anyone Treat You Like That?

As a therapist and a person who deals in reality and common sense in my own life, it is hard to see some of the decisions that other people make in the name of love and devotion. What happens to the human brain that cannot see the plainly obvious in front of them? Where intelligent,…

Emotional Honesty, Intimacy and Connection. The Key To Relationship Success

Relationship success is something that many of us strive for. Sometimes, this elusive “Holy Grail” escapes all but the very few. I have written here before about the Four Pillars of a functional relationship and how that is the basis if the relationship is to sustain itself long-term. While the four pillars of trust, honesty,…

Titbits From The Week That Was

  Boundaries Continue To Be An Issue Much of my work is about discussing how to set and maintain boundaries in personal and work relationships. Many people have no issue learning to set boundaries when they see the sense in that. However, they have big issues with maintaining them and setting consequences if boundaries continue…

Defining Healthy Boundaries In Relationships

What exactly is a boundary, when it comes to relationships? Simply put, a boundary is a limit or space between you and the other person; a clear place where you begin and the other person ends. Think of it as a fence in your backyard. You are the gate keeper and get to decide who…

Why Stay When You Know You Have To Leave?

There are times in our lives when big decisions have to be made and the consequences faced, however grim they  may be. How many of us can actually say we enjoy this process? Not many, I guess. However, doing this is part of life and the alternative is probably worse. As humans, we have become…

The Narcissist Parent And His Chosen Child

Being in a relationship with a narcissist “type” can be hell. However, what if the narcissist is your parent and has cloned you to be a living “perfect” version of him or her? A child chosen to heal the parent’s own broken past. It happens more than we might imagine. For ease, I have highlighted…

When Codependents Get Nasty And Resistant To Therapy

It is wrong to assume that if codependency is identified as an issue, the person concerned is codependent with everyone in his or her life. There is usually only one or a number of people (or thing, e.g work, substances) but the typical behavior associated with codependents does not necessarily get projected on everybody. The…

Face It! Increasing Self Esteem Is A Choice And Can Be Done Like This!

Consider this famous quote below: “The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.…

Defensive Pessimism And How It Can Help You Move Forward

Can you imagine a therapist telling a patient to think negatively ? To concentrate on the less positive aspects of the issues they are having ? Sounds crazy and not too healthy but there are times when this kind of thinking can certainly be justified. Name any self-help book found on the shelves of any bookshop…