Category: GENERAL TOPICS

Choice Not Impulse Moves Codependents Forward

Anyone who is a regular reader of my work will know that I work with a lot of codependents who generally share a similar set of behaviour patterns with each other. Codependents are generally very nice people who have often been taken advantage of many times but have also been in situations where they have…

The Many Manifestations Of The Inner Critic

The concept of an inner critic is well known but most people have to deal with more than one manifestation. There might be one that attacks you for doing too much of something and another who then berates you for being lazy. The advice would be to work with each separately. I will now look…

Podcast: Codependency No More

In 2015, I had the pleasure of taking part in a podcast that looked at how inner child therapy can help with codependency. The podcast was recieved favourably by many people and now I am offering you the chance to hear it again: Listen to the podcast Here Below is the introduction to the podcast…

The Lengths That Some Will Go To Keep Their Partner Happy

There is a storyline that runs in the well-known tv series Breaking Bad when one of the main characters rents a house from a woman who he develops a relationship with. As he is an addict, she also falls into the same addiction “because she loves him”. In the end this “love” proves her downfall…

Codependents And Alcoholics: Keeping The Addiction Cycle Turning

There is much written on the internet (including by me) about the “new codependency”, the “love addiction”, documenting poor souls trapped in relationships with “narcissist”, emotionally distant partners. In therapy, we quite rightly talk about how to fix the broken childhood of neglect and abuse that created the situation in the first place. We always…

Fear Getting Close To Anyone? You Could Be Counter-dependent

The media and TV often celebrate people who are “strong”. Especially in the western world, strength is indicative of the ability to get things done, have a mindset of ambition, determination and healthy autonomy. The traits mentioned here are positive but could it be that something lurks under the surface that could be less than…

Combining Two Effective Therapies To Help Codependents

Codependency is a complex issue and many therapists doubt its existence. They might agree somewhat with the classic definition of codependency where an enabling partner helps an addict maintain his addiction but the idea of codependency in relationships, the love addiction, is disputed. However, codependency in relationships is something I see and work with every…

Connecting With Your Inner Child…What It Means And How To Do It

Just recently, I have been doing a lot of inner child work with very interesting results. Touching the part of our emotional memory that has been locked away for years, can be a powerful, enlightening experience. Our inner child is the full complement of childhood feelings, needs and memories. It is very helpful to picture…