Month: October 2019

Codependency: How Hyper-Vigilance Turns To Victimhood In A Never-Ending Cycle

Codependents show and exhibit many common symptoms. One of these and one that I see often with clients is hyper-vigilance, not in the sense of physical threat but mostly to do with observing a partner’s behaviour for signs of change. For codependents who constantly live with insecurity, these signs could mean a lot. Many clients…

Why We Hate Ourselves… And Never Know Why

There is much hate in our world. It is seen everywhere, on the street, in the media and in our towns and cities. However, in my experience, some of the most intense hate I often see is the hate that people often turn inward towards themselves. It is the most intense hate one could imagine…

Clue Up On SAD: It Affects More People Than You Might Think.

As I woke up this morning, I realised that something was different. I’m not talking here about the ageing process here but the sudden change in the weather. Summer had seemed to turn into fall overnight. Drizzly rain, dark clouds and that nip in the air. Realistically there is a good chance that the warmer…

Why Codependents Are Sometimes Resistant To Therapy

It is wrong to assume that if codependency is identified as an issue, the person concerned is codependent with everyone in his or her life. There is usually only one or a number of people (or thing, e.g work, substances) but the typical behaviour associated with codependents does not necessarily get projected on everybody. The…

Breaking The Bond Between Narcissist And Codependent

Among my patient group (and circle of friends), there are people who continually allow others to take advantage of them, continue to give and stay in very toxic relationships. They attempt to make themselves indispensable for their partners (and everyone else) and become the local and family martyr. They are the codependents who keep on…