Month: September 2018

Life After Narcissism: Further Toxic Or Nourishing? It Is Your Choice!

What next when your worst nightmare is over? Many codependents who manage to extract themselves from toxic or narcissistic relationships are often left with this question. Initially, the big danger is that they end up in another toxic relationship similar to the last. This is the only type of relationship they know and they gravitate…

Parental Alienation: What It Is And How Narcissists Use It To Destroy Their Ex-Partner and Children

When divorce and separation occurs and children are involved, it is generally traumatic for all concerned. One aspect of this is that two people who used to be in a relationship have to co-parent as ex-partners.  Awkward and uncomfortable as this might be, some find a way for it to work because they put the…

Don’t Allow A Narcissist To Use Your Child To Destroy You

It takes a lot to remove a narcissist from your life. Not only the fact that he is not all that willing for you to make that call but also the actions and thoughts of the people involved with them often make it difficult. Especially codependents hang around until the bitter end (or longer) hoping…

Narcissism: Why Would You Let Anyone Treat You Like That?

As a therapist and a person who deals in reality and common sense in my own life, it is hard to see some of the decisions that other people make in the name of love and devotion. What happens to the human brain that cannot see the plainly obvious in front of them? Where intelligent,…

Emotional Honesty, Intimacy and Connection. The Key To Relationship Success

Relationship success is something that many of us strive for. Sometimes, this elusive “Holy Grail” escapes all but the very few. I have written here before about the Four Pillars of a functional relationship and how that is the basis if the relationship is to sustain itself long-term. While the four pillars of trust, honesty,…

Codependency: How To Give Up Control And Stop Rescuing Everyone

Codependency is a lot about control and controlling others. I have documented various methods frequently on this blog and how they manifest themselves into the typical dysfunctional behaviour associated with codependency. Codependents need control to feel secure and are loath to give this power away. One of the more common forms of control employed by…

Codependents: It’s Ok Not To Forgive Your Toxic Parents

The headline is perhaps a confusing one to anyone who has experienced trauma and abuse in their life. The helping professions are full of practitioners who deal in the art of forgiveness.  Religious, psychological and philosophical teachings all tell us that forgiveness is essential. “You have to forgive to be able to move on”, they…

Childhood: Where Codependency All Starts

It has been said that a large part of the global population is codependent on something or somebody. That something could be work, substances, alcohol. That somebody could be a partner, parent or boss. Yes, there are many ways to be codependent and many are codependent towards more than one “object” leading to a fairly…