Life doesn’t always go as planned. As humans, we have to face constant changes in our lives and sometimes we get stuck. We get stuck in jobs, relationships, situations and life generally. Sometimes, we can pull through, other times more difficult. We are generally a resilient species and mostly we do what we can to move ourselves constantly forward through life. To do this, we have plans and goals, we have to face issues and hurdles and change that is sometimes planned and sometimes not so. However, sometimes we are also our own worst enemy and due to our own thinking, we miss opportunities to do what we can. It is often a case of changing self-talk but there are things that you could and should be doing to make the best of things. Many people I have spoken to see the value of the following but still procrastinate and make excuses. My answer is, you can change your life in a moment if you decide to do so.
- Accept Your Reality: Many of us live in a fantasy of who we really are. We do this because reality is too hard to accept or might not be good enough in our minds. By accepting reality, I mean facing the issues being avoided, stop procrastination fantasies that we feed ourselves and accepting who we really are. That also means examining everything we do, think, believe and the people around us.
- Make The Right Choices: How many of us look back on our lives and say: ‘If only’ or ‘I wish’ when it comes to the choices we made. All of us and hindsight is a great thing. However, how many of us can say that we have learnt from those experiences and continue to make the wrong choices? Many and often the wrong choice is also the easy way out. Face the pain and start making the right choices for you…and your needs in terms of self-care.
- Put Your Energy Where It Matters: Many people spend a lot of time worrying and thinking about things and issues that we have no chance of influencing. We tend to blame these issues for our situation and become bitter. This takes up a lot of our mental energy and leads to ruminating and hopelessness. By concentrating on what we really can change, we are more likely to be successful in our efforts. We can only influence our thoughts, feelings and the way we see the world. Anything else is out of reach.
- Practice Self-Discipline and Delayed Gratification: Many of us are just not prepared to face issues that present themselves and would prefer to kick them further down the track. In addition, we are not prepared to wait for things and practice instant gratification to make ourselves feel better. This includes shopping, eating, sex, anything that takes the pain away. By facing our issues head-on as they arise and not delaying them, we have a better chance of moving forward.
- Declutter Your Life: We all have toxic relationships in our lives that drag us down. They could be family, friends, romantic partners or work colleagues and often we feel a strong sense of obligation to them. Sometimes, we put in much more than we receive and often we wonder why we allow these people anywhere near us. Putting these relationships on a healthy footing by setting healthy boundaries and asking for our needs to be met will lead to much more energy for more important things.
So if you are stuck and don’t know how to move forward, look at yourself first. You have more power than you think.