We all see the world in a specific way. Call it what you will…..paradigm …window on the world…frame of reference, it is all the same. It dictates to a large degree how we think, feel and behave in any given situation. It is our conditioning that we bring from childhood with all the positive and…
Being in a relationship with a narcissist “type” can be hell. However, what if the narcissist is your parent and has cloned you to be a living “perfect” version of him or her? A child chosen to heal the parent’s own broken past. It happens more than we might imagine. For ease, I have highlighted…
There are many theories, models and assumptions around that pontificate on what keeps two people together over the long-term. You can find books and posts that cover all aspects of this subject and more. Many of them offer up good advice on keeping it fresh or avoiding the pitfalls of a stale relationship. Advice badly…
It takes a lot to remove a narcissist from your life. Not only the fact that he is not all that willing for you to make that call but also the actions and thoughts of the people involved with them often make it difficult. Especially codependents hang around until the bitter end (or longer) hoping…
Many people who come into therapy for the first time might find it difficult to imagine what to expect. There are many stereotypical images to draw on in the media and TV of the traditional shrink type character but is this the reality these days? Much of the interaction between client and therapist is regulated…
As a therapist, I do a lot of couples therapy. That means I deal frequently with warring, dysfunctional relationships in most cases. Most people enter couples therapy as a last resort to save their marriage or relationship. Some expect me to tell them what to do. Others are surprised when I tell them it is…
The masses of literature available on the Codependency-Narcissism dance will tell you there are enough of both in this world to make it a big issue. There are many relationships I come across where all logic has apparently been thrown to one side and it is very difficult to understand sometimes why things happen the…
A good marriage with someone we truly love is generally the fairytale that is sold to us by society, sometimes parents and definitely religion. We are all expected to go on to develop along a certain tried and trusted path which includes marriage. Many are totally unprepared (especially if they marry young) for the immense…
About two years ago, I wrote a rather philosophical post pontificating about What Do We Need to Make us Happy?. As I generally do, I placed this article on various websites for people to read and comment. On one particular site, the article generated a fair amount of interest and discussion from many people who…
What is the point of therapy unless there is a clear measurable goal? A question I have often asked myself and one that I am sure many people who seek therapy ask themselves too. There are many therapeutic approaches that are non-directional, that is the aim is not to direct proceedings but to facilitate change…